


Any Time You Want (Frerard)

by TheVulgarSpecialist



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Sex, BDSM, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Everyone Is Gay, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Physical Abuse, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:47:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22428853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVulgarSpecialist/pseuds/TheVulgarSpecialist
Summary: Korse is demoted from S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W unit and pitches a plan to make a Pornodroid that looks like Party Poison. Fun Ghoul starts buying time with him.
Relationships: Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (Danger Days), Korse/Party Poison (Danger Days)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 69





	1. Put The Pieces Back Together

To be a pornodroid means that you are to give yourself away to strangers and get nothing in return but petty cash. This is a better fate than to be a Bl/ind pornodroid. Korse, prior head Hitman of the S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W unit came up with a brilliant retirement plan.

He pitched the idea to make a Pornodroid with the likeness of Party Poison, the deceased leader of the Killjoys, his plan was called: "Fuck the rebellion."

The plan went over well, and he was expected to provide a prototype, his prototype performed so well, and looked so much like Party Poison did that they didn't bother to make another. This is the most popular Pornodroid ever made.

Korse even buys around an hour with him every day. This is what he was doing at this particular time. "Hey baby."

I had been expecting him all day, he was late. I could see through the window that it was night. "Hey Korse." He walked up to me, I know he doesn't like it when I use his name. He put his hand on my chin to make me look up at him from the chair I sat in. "How do you want me master?"

He smiled down at me, I liked it when he smiled. "I want you on the floor."

I nodded, standing up. He shoved me and I fell onto the rug so hard that I could hardly breathe. "Did I say you could move?" He yelled, running his hand over his head.

"I'm sorry." I said, looking up at him. He started to take his grey coat off. He dropped it onto the chair I'd just been sitting in. He began to look through the drawers of the desk.

"You will be."

I turned into my side and rested my elbow on the floor, looking up at him. I was not afraid. "I hope that means you're gonna fuck me for once. I miss you."

He turned his head and looked at me like I was trash. "Shut the fuck up slut."

I laughed. "Make me." I don't know why I was in the mood to fuck with him.

He got out a belt and a while from the drawer. "Get on your knees."

I got up onto my knees and rubbed myself through my shorts, giving him a lustful look. It just doesn't work on him like it does on other guys.

He put the belt around my neck and pulled it through the buckle, pulling it until it was right, clasping it in place. It wasn't enough that I couldn't breathe, but enough that it hurt to swallow my spit.

He walked around me and hit me on the back, I shouldn't have worn a crop top today. I clenched my teeth. "Harder." I managed to choke out.

Be looked so angry, I smiled up at him. He hit me even harder, this one hurt. I moaned and fell forward onto my hands and knees. He grabbed the belt and yanked me up to my knees again. He hit me hard on the arm with the whip.

He then leaned over me and opened my mouth, expecting a kiss. He spat into my mouth. I swallowed it and gave him another smile when he looked disgusted. "You know, your dick would choke me a lot better than this belt is." I said in a voice much weaker than I wanted to use.

"You really want me to fuck you?" He asked, dropping the whip onto the floor.

My stomach tickled and I felt myself getting hard. "Yes please, I've been waiting all day."

He got on his knees behind me, reaching around to unbutton my shorts. He pulled them down roughly before shoving me over. I rested my head sideways on the floor with my ass up. I could hear him unzip and then shoved himself into me.

Fuck that hurt, he didn't use any lube. How the fuck had I not even got any precum out of him? I don't understand how he isn't sexually attracted to me when half the population of this city seems to be. My train of thought was cut off when he pulled the belt roughly, my neck strained and I put my fingertips onto the rug, trying to take weight off my neck.

He pulled even harder, sounds started to muffle, like I was under water. My sight was starting to go out. I could feel him fucking me, but it didn't feel good at all. Normally I'd be totally into this, but hardly anybody actually fucked me today. Mainly just blowjobs. So I wasn't really ready for him.

Before I knew what was happening, I woke up laying on the floor. A man I didn't know stood in the doorway, a look of shock and sadness on his face. He had long black hair, totally dressed in black. He seemed to be blinking away tears.

Why the fuck would Korse leave me like this? It sucked too because this guy was hot. I managed to pull myself up to sit. But I fell backwards, my head felt like he'd probably hit me sometime during fucking me.

I could feel hands on me, pulling me up onto the bed, then my shorts being pulled up. I opened my eyes and could see the man messing with the belt around my throat, then I could hear clearly and breathe without any strain. He dropped the belt onto the floor and covered me up.

"I'm so sorry about this. How do you want me?"

He scanned my face and looked so stern. I looked down at his hand that rested on the bed. It was covered in tattoos, fuck. Hands are kind of my thing. He looked so sexy, probably the hottest guy I've ever had buy time with me. I wouldn't mind getting fucked by this guy.

He finally spoke. "What do you mean?"

I didn't really want to say it to him, he has really nice eyes. "I mean, what do you want me to do for you?"

He shrugged and looked down. "I don't know, I just wanted to." He shook his head and stopped talking.

"What is it? I can do anything you want." I sat up and put my hand on his shoulder, starting to take his jacket off for him. I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew him somehow.

He stared into my eyes and I saw a strange twitch in his lower lip. "I don't want anything dirty."

I nodded. "Right, what can I do for you then?"

Now I could tell for sure he was about to cry. "Can I just lay next to you?"

I gave him a sympathetic smile and laid down, lifting up the blankets for him. He took his jacket off and got under the covers with me. He lay facing me and just looked at me. He looked at me like I was special, I don't know why. I really wanted to kiss him. He was so strange and so beautiful, like I'd known him for years.

I saw a tear run down his face and soak into the pillowcase. I reached out and wiped under his eye. I moved a bit closer to him. "How long are you gonna be here?" I asked, I don't normally ask that sort of thing.

"The rest of tonight." He sniffed and shook his head. "I shouldn't have come here."

I put my hand out and took his that lay on the bed. "I don't know if it's any solace to you, but this is probably gonna be the best night I've ever had." I saw sadness flash over his face. "Hey, that doesn't mean I'm not down to do whatever. If I fall asleep and you end up wanting me to do something, just wake me up. Or don't, that's okay too."

He frowned. "Do people really think it's okay to do that to you?"

I shrugged. "I'm a Droid, they don't care."

He sighed. "I guess so, but still. How did they get you to look so real? I mean, you look so alive." He wants his hand over mine and examined my face again.

"I don't know, I'm some kind of new technology, I know that much. I'm supposed to be more lifelike than other droids. But I've only ever seen another Droid a couple of times in my memories."

"And what about the abuse? Do a lot of people treat you like that?"

I shifted my legs under the covers and wondered whether or not to be honest. "Yeah, I mean. I figure that's what most guys are into. I get fucked a lot more than abused, but sometimes it's both. This is the first time anybody has ever just wanted to lay down with me. I guess they want to get what they paid for."

He laughed. "Yeah, it's not cheap. I've been saving up for a while."

Why the hell would someone this hot save up to see me? He could have anybody. "That's nice. I didn't know I had fans."

He smiled. "It's a long story." Then his smile fell and he sighed.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He looked at me again. "Can I hold you?"

I smiled. "Of course." I moved closer to him and lifted up so he could slink an arm under me. Then he wrapped his other arm around my neck to pull me to him. He smelled amazing, like tea and cigarettes. My face was just below his, he looked down at me. Why does this feel so intimate?

I literally have like ten different guys inside my ass or mouth daily, but this manages to be the most personal thing I've ever done. I really like this guy.

He placed his hand on the side of my face and ran his thumb over my cheek. He placed a kiss on my forehead and rested his chin on my head. Pulling me so close I was pressed to his chest. I put my arm around him and relaxed into his hold and before I knew it, I was asleep.


	2. There's one thing they'll never take from you

I woke up suddenly, I saw the guy from the night before was sitting up next to me, looking down at me. "Good morning." I said sitting up. My back was fucking sore.

He was just quiet, he nodded. "I've gotta go now. I just need to leave the money on the table, right?"

I scooted towards him, I realized I might not see him again. "When will I see you again?"

He seemed taken aback. "I don't know. I don't plan on coming back, it's expensive. I thought this would help me, but I'm scared I just stirred it all up again."

I shook my head, grabbing his hand. "I'm only charging you for an hour. Use the rest to come back."

Be blinked at me, looking at my hand. "I can't do that. Won't you get in trouble?"

I shrugged. "I hardly ever get anybody in the middle of the night anyway. I don't think I could stand not seeing you again."

He shook his head. "But you aren't him, I can't just use you to fill a void."

What the fuck? "What does that mean?"

He shrugged. "You don't know? Well, I can't tell you about it. It could fuck you up."

I raise his hand to my face. "I can't get much worse, but promise me you'll come back." I could feel tears in my eyes. I don't know why he made me feel this way.

He nodded. "Yeah, I'll come back. What's in it for you?"

"I want to make you smile. You're a very sad man, I can tell. I want to make you happy." I paused. "Can I kiss you?"

He stared into my eyes, then he shook my head. "No, I should go."

I kissed his hand quickly and he got the money out of his jacket and dropped it onto the side table. Got up, and left. I laid back down, my heart felt so empty and so full at the same time. I smelled the spot where he was on the bed, I nearly fell asleep.

The door opened and a man who was tall and had a big forehead looked down at me. I gave him a smile. "How do you want me?"

He stared at me for a moment. "You can stay there if you want."

I didn't really know what he meant until I saw him unzip his pants. He tugged at his dick for a minute before it was all the way hard. I got on my elbows and opened my mouth. I hate my fucking job. He shoved his dick into my mouth, I wish this was the guy from last night. I could just imagine it is. I closed my eyes and suddenly this wasn't so horrible.

Issue was this guy seemed too scared to push into my mouth. I scooted forward and took him further into my mouth. I hate guys like this.

He pulled back. "I don't want to gag you."

I opened my eyes to look at his dick, it honestly wasn't half enough to gag me. But he seemed to think he had a big dick do I just kept sucking.

"Could you take off your clothes?" He asked, pulling out again.

I took my shirt off and threw it down. He scanned my chest with his eyes. I wanted to hit him. I took my shorts off. I don't even bother wearing underwear anymore unless somebody wants me to.

The guy glanced down at my dick for a moment, reaching for his dick. "Actually, can you may at the edge of the bed?"

He made me feel so violated, I didn't really want him to fuck me at all. I decided that my goal would be to totally ruin his nice guy façade. I crawled over, sticking my ass in the air. I got onto my back and spread myself out for him. "You gonna fuck me real hard?"

He looked at my ass like he didn't know what to do with it. "I-I just… this might be?"

"Too much for me? No, don't worry about that. I want you to fuck me. Uh, what would you like me to call you?"

His face was getting more and more red. I sat up and placed a kiss on his stomach. Giving him my best slut look. "I'm sorry, do you need me to slow down a little bit?"

He nodded. "Yeah, maybe. I want you to call me Mr. President."

I almost burst out laughing. "Alright Mr. President."

He closed his eyes for a moment, I guess he was composing himself. I laid back down and he put my legs over his shoulders. He paused. "I forgot lube."

I laid my head down and stared at the ceiling. "It's in the side table."

He put my legs down and lubed himself up, like he needed it. Not like I haven't taken worse dry. Then I felt him out my legs over his shoulders.

It was one of the most boring fucks I've ever had, I was glad when it was over. It didn't take long at all. I charged him double and hoped he wouldn't come back.

I walked over to the window after getting dressed again. I looked out at the city, badly wishing I could go out there. I pondered this for a while before the door opened again. I turned my head and was shocked to see it was Korse.

He walked over to me and put his arms around me from behind, placing a kiss on my neck. "What are you up to baby?"

I turned my head to look at him. I decided to be pissed, he did fuck me dry, beat me while choking me, and left me for anybody to find. I just turned my head and looked out again.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He loosened his grip and shifted to be next to me, looking me in the eyes. "You aren't mad about last night, are you? I got a little carried away."

I furrowed my brows at him. "A client found me unconscious on the floor. He took care of me better than you have in a long time."

He frowned. "You don't mean that. I have an idea, let's have a shower."

I crossed my arms. "I'd rather have a bath, alone." I paused. "Don't I have any rights, even though I'm a Droid?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not, let's not talk about that right now."

I turned to him. "Why not? I could throw myself out this window, then what would you do? Make another?"

He grabbed me and lifted me off the ground, putting me on the bed. "You can't talk that way!" He shouted, pointing down at me. "I can't live without you. You are the only you there will ever be."

I sat up. "Then why do you treat me like shit? I do nothing but give you love. I give myself to you every day, and you can't so much as tell me you love me. You haven't told me you loved me since you were training me."

He got on his knees on the bed, hovering over me on all fours, I had to lay down. "I do love you."

"Well you have a really fucked up way of showing it."

He sighed, leaning over me and kissing me. It was slow and deep, it actually felt really nice, I could feel myself melting in his arms. I reached up and ran my hand over the bad of his head. He parted his lips from mine. "Are you sure you don't want to have a bath together?"

I nodded. "Yeah, if you'll run it. My ass hurts."

He laughed. "I love that about you." He pecked me on the lips and got up, walking towards the bathroom.

I sat up. "What do you mean?"

He opened the door. "You say exactly what you want to. You don't care what anybody thinks of you. I was worried you'd lose that."

I was gonna ask him what he meant, but he disappeared into the bathroom. I turned over, stretching on the bed.

He came out a few minutes later. I hadn't realized I fell asleep. I stood and followed him into the bathroom. Getting naked and we had a good bath. Very normal.

"How am I able to be in water?"

He ran his hands over my back. "What do you mean?"

I leaned back so my back rested on his chest. "I thought electronics weren't able to be in water, I hadn't thought about the fact this could be dangerous."

He rested a hand on my stomach. "You aren't a normal electronic, you're waterproof. And your synthetic skin has to be cleaned just like real skin."

"Oh." I said. That was really as far as the conversation went. I wish I could be stronger, he deserved way more than five minutes of coldness. My bitch face just doesn't work on him. He's so hard to offend, I'd have to try again another time.


	3. Your kiss and I will surrender

I finished my bath with Korse and told him I didn't want to have sex tonight. He ended up leaving me alone. I honestly wasn't that mad at this point. But it seemed important to keep him away for a night.

Good thing too, since not ten minutes after he left, my door was knocked on. I walked over and opened it, it was the guy from the night before, his long black hair hung in shaggy strands around and on his face.

He looked just as sexy as before. I opened the door all the way and let him. "Thank you for coming back."

He looked around the room and took a seat on the couch. He looked up at me. "I honestly don't know why I did."

I walked over to him, putting my hand on my hip. "I don't see why you have to be that way. It's not like I bring up bad memories, we don't even know each other."

His lip twitched again, he put his head down and rested his face in his hands. "You don't understand."

I walked over to him, putting my hand on his back. "Apparently not, I'm just now realizing I don't know a lot. It would help if someone would talk to me."

He looked up at me. "Why are you in a robe?"

I looked down at my legs, I'd just shaved. "I just got out of the bath. It doesn't help that I'm a prostitute and an attention whore. Do you want me to get dressed?"

He shrugged. "I don't care. You do what you want."

I walked over to my closet and opened it. "Should I wear a dress, or?"

He sat back, lacing his fingers on his stomach. "Why not? I don't want to tell you what to do."

I sighed. "That's my job, my offer still stands. Anything you want to do, I'll do."

He stared at me. "Anything?"

I dropped my robe and grabbed out a tight pink dress, this was my favorite, short enough that you could have sex in it. I reserve it for special occasions. "Literally anything. Piss, abuse, I even like vanilla sex on occasions."

He shook his head at me, I pulled the zipper up my back as much as I could. I walked over to him. "You care to help me?"

He stood and I could feel him pinch lower on the dress and zip me up. I turned to him. "I don't want anything sexual from you. I was gonna ask if you dance."

I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. "Do I dance? It's one of my favorite things ever."

His eyes seemed to light up, I really wanted to kiss him. "Would you dance with me?"

I could have cried, I nodded. "Of course I will." I went over to my record player and put on David Bowie's Low. I walked back over to him and put my arms around his neck, he slinked his arms around my waist and we moved to the music. I was so glad to smell him again, he's like smelling a cigarette in the distance when you've been dying to smoke.

I felt like I was getting high off of him. I turned around and pressed myself to him, rubbing my ass on him to the music. He sighed and rested his chin on my shoulder. He pressed a hand to my stomach, he held my other hand firmly in his.

I couldn't tell how long we did this, it was like neither of us knew how to stop, not did we want to. Eventually we ended up sitting on the couch, I laid out with my head on his lap. Looking up at him. "You're so fucking hot." I said, I really did feel high, nothing came out right.

He ran his fingers through my hair, I nestled into his touch. "I haven't heard that in a while."

I reached up and grabbed his other hand, squeezing it. "Who did you lose?"

He looked across the room. "I can't tell you, I already told you I can't." He paused. "What do you call yourself?"

My mind went totally blank. "What?"

"What's your name?"

I had never really thought about this. "A lot of people call me baby, or bitch. I guess one of those. I never really thought about having a name. What's yours?"

He resumed running his fingers through my hair. "I guess I can tell you, but you can't tell anybody. Got it?" He gave me a very stern look.

I nodded. "Of course."

"It's Fun Ghoul."

I smiled up at him. "That's fucking cute."

He shook his head. "You can call me it if you want, but I seriously could be killed if anyone knew I was coming here."

I sat up. "Why? What did you do?"

He sighed. "I can't tell you, it would do more harm than good." He paused. "I was part of a rebellion okay. The person I lost was also a part of this group."

I nodded. "So I make you think of this person?"

He nodded. "But I seriously can't tell you any more than that. You could explode or some shit. I don't know what they did when they made you."

I laid my head on his shoulder. "I just wish I understood. This fucking blows. All I want to do is kiss you." He turned his head to look at me, I continued. "I don't know why I do, I just want you all around me. All the time, I just think about you. It's like you did some kind of magic that replaced oxygen with you."

He looked like he was gonna cry again. "I want to kiss you too. But I can't, I can't get close to you."

I put my hand on the side of his face, turning his head to me. "Nothing leaves this room, we can do whatever we want while were here. You can say and do what you want."

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, they felt like they were on fire. They were so soft and he pressed into me so hard I had to push back to keep from falling. I parted my lips and the kiss deepened. It felt right somehow, being here with him.

I shifted my hips and straddled his hips. He put a heavy hand on my back and I put my hand on his chest. We parted for a moment and he stared into my eyes.

"We can't do this. I can't handle this. You're gonna make me go crazy. You aren't him." When I tried to grab his hand he put his hands up. "You need to get off of me."

I grabbed his shoulders. "You don't understand, something inside of me remembers you. I don't know why. I think that's it, I'm not sure how I know you because you're a memory shoved so far down into my brain. That I can't access it. Do you know me?"

He put his hand on the side of my face. "Not really, I knew someone who looks like you."

I could see the sadness in his eyes, tears formed in them. "You loved him, didn't you?"

He nodded. "He was everything to me, he was my entire world. I wish if died with him, because I regret every fucking moment I'm not with him. I just want to see him again." He was crying now. "I want to hold him and tell him how much he meant to me. But I can't, and now I'm manipulating you and trying to shove you into this mold you can never fill. Because the hole is in my heart and I will never be complete again." His whole body was racked with sobs that shook the couch.

I pulled him to me, pressing his face into my chest, he hugged me so tight that it hurt. I wanted to squeeze so hard we would become one person. Then I could take half of his pain. And maybe he wouldn't be crying like this.

I guess for a minute I forgot that I'm just a Droid, I can't help him. I can't do anything for him. Like he said, I can never fill the hole left by whoever I look like.

Shit, I was crying. I could feel my tears soaking into his hair. He was shaking in my arms. I wanted him to stop, I just want him to be happy.

"Hey." I could hear him muffled into my chest. I pulled away and looked down at him, his face was red and splotchy. "I think I should go."

I shook my head. "No, I think maybe you need to face this head on. You said I can't fill that void, well. I think maybe you need to face this head on, you can use me to get out all of the things you never could with him. Not to replace him, but for yourself. So you aren't trapped in there with all that shit unresolved."

He shook his head. "I'm not gonna pretend you're him."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm not asking you to. But I'm gonna guess you haven't cried like that in a while. It's good for you to cry."

He put his forehead to my chest. "I just wish he was here. And I'm not trying to be mean to you, you really aren't much like him. The way you act is totally different."

I rubbed his back. "How so?"

He sniffed. "You want me to like you so much, he didn't have to try."

"He was so lucky. I think if it killed me to make you like me I'd do it." I paused when he looked at me. "Why am I like this? Why can't I be like the other Droids?"

He squinted, looking into my eyes. "I don't know. They really did catch every little detail." He smiled, touching under my eye. "Even that little red spot."

I could feel another year down my face. "So it's not that I just look like him. I was made to look like him?"

A shaking sob rose in his chest and he trembled, his shoulders shook and he began to sob. "What have they done? He would have hated this so much, he would have been so embarrassed. A fucktoy wasn't meant to be his legacy." He breathed deeply, trying to compose himself. "He just wanted to be a hero, he wanted to save people. Why the fuck would he do this to you?"

I snatched up one of his hands. "Who are you talking about?"

He shook his head. "You've probably never met him. A real tall guy, bald, bloodshot eyes."

At the same time we both said. "Korse."

Ghoul looked confused. "So you've met him?"

I nodded. "He was the one who had me before you yesterday."

Now he looked mad. "You're kidding! You mean he fucks you?" I nodded and he shook his head. "That's so fucked up."

Now I was confused, how would he know Korse? "So how do you know him? He's the one who made me, he trained me to be a Pornodroid."

He was staring at the floor for a while and looked at me. "He was the one who… My poor beautiful Poison."

***

I woke up on the floor, on my back. The lights were too harsh, I covered my eyes with my arm. I could see Fun Ghoul was on top of me, examining my face, he looked terrified.

I smiled up at him, moving my arm. "You're still here!"

He was gasping for air. "I'm so sorry." He scooped me up and held me. "Please don't blow up."

I felt like I was gonna black out again. "I need, I think I should drink some water."

He was still squeezing me. "I need you."

Now I wasn't faint at all, I could have ran a marathon. He needs me? He meant that, nobody has ever wanted me before. I sat up and hugged him.

My door flung open, I turned my head in time to see Korse standing in the doorway. A smile creeped over his face, not a happy smile, the kind of smile he gives me before he beats me. I looked back at Ghoul, he looked like a deer in headlights. I turned to look at Korse. "Can you go? I'm working." I gave him a dirty look.

Korse nodded and backed out of the room, closing the door.

"Fuck, fucking shit." Ghoul put me on the floor and walked over to the bed, running his hand through his hair. He walked back over to me. "You have to get me out of here, he'll fucking kill me."

I shook my head. "No he wouldn't."

Ghoul got on his knees in front of me. "Then you don't know the real him."

I nodded. "I trust you. Let me walk you to the elevator in a couple of minutes. But he can't fuck with you if I'm here. Not if he's hiding a side of himself from me."

He nodded. He stood and got a glass from the side table, handing it to me. "So you have to drink water?"

I took it from him and took a few huge drinks. "Of course I do."

He hummed. "That's strange, normally Droids just get charge packs."

I shrugged. "New technology. So I guess you probably aren't coming back?" My chest was thumping.

"I don't know, it doesn't seem safe. Not if he can just pop in like that."

I shook my head. "That's only the second time he's ever walked in on me while working. It was probably because he couldn't hear sex noises. He probably figured it was just me in here."

He nodded. "Then no, I don't think I should have sex with you."

I laughed. "We can just play sex noises on the TV and resume our talks like normal."

He shook his head. "You can't get porn on TV, it's just the news and soap operas now."

I shook my head. "No, I have porn. In case guys have a hard time getting hard. I just put on porn, it works quickly. It plays through these boxes." I pointed to a stack of them on the TV stand. "If I do that, he won't come in."

He nodded. "Then yes, I will probably come back."

I smiled, setting my water down and getting in my knees. I put my arms around his neck again. "Please kiss me."

He shook his head. "Is that all you think about?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm not gonna apologize, I'm a slut for you. The one guy I'd literally die to fuck won't hardly kiss me." I saw a flash of a smile. Why did whining work?

He put his hands on my hips, kissing me really slow. I felt like I was gonna cum in my dress, I still didn't feel right in the head. I pressed my body to his, going a bit limp in his arms. I tangled my fingers in his hair, he tasted so good. Just like he smelled. I wanted to absorb into him. I would die to be a fucking cell in his body. He half chuckled into my mouth. My stomach tickled and a shiver ran down my back, I half moaned as it washed over me. Closing my eyes tightly.

I pressed my face into his neck, I think I just came in my dress. "Fuck." I trembled, putting my weight on him. "I thought I was gonna go blind."

He put his face into my hair. "Well you need to be able to see. How else will you see me again?"

I looked up at him, so he will come back? I watched him stand up. Oh shit, I love being on me knees in front of him. I've become such a slut since I blacked out. I wonder why? I could just undo his pants and suck him off. I'd cut off my arms to taste him.

He was just staring down at me, with his hand out. Oh, he wanted to help me up. I took his hand and stood, I immediately almost fell over. I didn't know if it was from the orgasm or passing out.

"You okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm just gonna have to jerk off after you leave."

He laughed. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I don't know why he was laughing, I was dead serious. "I want to gag on your cock if I'm being honest."

He nodded. "Oh, sorry. Not now."

I put my hand on my hip. "You aren't attracted to me at all?"

He shook his head. "It isn't that. I'm just worried it would hurt my memories of him if I fucked you. I don't know if that makes sense."

I could have cried. "No, that's what sucks. I know exactly what you mean, but I can't help it. You seem so right, I feel like a lost puzzle piece that finally found where it fits. I just want you so bad."

He reached for my hand. "I'm sorry, I would take you with me if I could. Cause I don't think you deserve this life."

"Can't you stay for the night?"

He shook his head. "No, Korse knows I'm here."

I nodded. "Exactly, he thinks you'll probably leave. The last thing he'd expect is for you to stay with me."

He sighed. "If you lock the door I will."

I went over to the door and locked it. I walked over to the TV and put a porn in. I walked over to the bed and took off the dress, getting under the covers and inviting him to join me. He got into bed with me and I laid my head on his chest. We both were silent and watched a lot of the porn. It was stupid, it was about a student and his teacher. The teacher took his virginity which makes sense since he can take a whole dick up the ass. The dialogue was cheesy and it wasn't arousing in the slightest.

"You know." Fun Ghoul said. "I don't think I could stop seeing you if I wanted to."

I lifted my head and looked at him, I didn't really know what to say. I pressed my lips to his jawline, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on top of him. I pressed kisses to his neck and laid my head back down on his chest and fell asleep while he rubbed my back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey! This chapter is super long! I'd love to know what you think of this so far. I'm really happy with how it's going. Thank you for reading!


	4. When they take from you most everything

The next morning I woke up still on top of Fun Ghoul, he was playing with my hair. I lifted my head and smiled at him. I leaned forward to kiss him but he turned his head. "Good morning… I still don't know what I'm supposed to call you."

I smiled and backed off, he looked back at me. "I said, everybody calls me baby or bitch."

He laughed. "I can't you either of those." He paused. "What if I call you Red?"

I smiled. "I like that." I sat up on top of him and grabbed my water off the side table. Taking a drink.

He looked down for a second. "Fuck, you've gotta put on some clothes. Your dick is all over my clothes."

I looked down and laughed. "What did you expect? Pulling my naked ass on top of you? Did you forget I have a dick?"

He just stared at me. "Fucking get dressed."

I leaned over him, propping my hands on either side of his head. "Only if you kiss me."

He rolled his eyes, propping on his elbows to kiss me. It was really brief. "Okay, get off. I'm starving."

I got off of him, satisfied. "I have a little kitchen, I hardly have anything though. Is a pop tart okay?"

He nodded, sitting up and stretching. "Yeah, do you mind if I use your bathroom?"

"Of course not." I put on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I walked to the door to the kitchen, swinging it open and going in. "As long as you don't drink it up."

He laughed and I heard the bathroom door close. I got a box of brown sugar Pop tarts out of the cabinet and got a packet out. I scarfed most of it down and went over to my espresso machine, shoving a mug under it and hitting start.

I stared down at it and finished my Pop tart. Fun Ghoul walked into kitchen and I pointed to the other Pop tart in the packet on the counter. "You can have my other one."

He walked over and grabbed it out, taking a big bite out of it. He leaned back on the counter and stared at me. "Are you gonna unlock the door and let me go?"

I sighed, my coffee was done. I hopped up on the counter and sipped it. "Do I have to? You could have coffee with me."

He shook his head. "I'll just have tea later. I really need to go Red, you've held me up for almost 12 hours now."

I shrugged. "Nobody told you that you couldn't unlock the door and leave."

He threw his hands up. "I don't know where the key card is."

I smiled. "Did you check between your ass cheeks?" I watched him give me a weird look, I laughed. "I'm kidding, it's under my dildos in the second drawer."

He laughed too. "I'm not touching your dildos."

I took another drink of my coffee. "Then I guess your stuck here with me. And I still haven't gotten to gag on your dick."

He left the kitchen, I heard a crash, I went into the other room and saw that he'd taken the second drawer out and strewn its contents on the floor. He shook his head looking down at them. "That's a lot of dildos."

I smiled. "I know, it's impressive. Which do you think is my favorite?"

He shook his head at me, looking at the dildos.

I pointed to a huge blue one. "That's my favorite."

He wasn't amused."Where's the key card?"

I smiled. "Not in the drawer."

He frowned. "Asshole, please just let me out."

I walked over to my dresser and opened the top drawer. I pushed my underwear to the side and gave him the little white card.

He took it from me and walked over to the door, sliding it in and opening the door. I walked over to him. "Hey, I'm sorry. I just really don't want you to leave. But I get it."

He shrugged. "It's fine, see you next time." Be have me the sweetest and and kissed me on the cheek, giving me my card back. He walked out the door, I watched him go down the hall. He stepped into the elevator and pressed a button, waiting for it to open. He got in and stared at the floor, a very serious look on his face as the doors closed.

I went back into my room and closed the door. I felt like crying, I just wanted him to stay forever.

I pressed my forehead to the door and held back tears that threatened to fall. I went back to the kitchen and sat on the counter again, drinking my coffee. Before I could even finish my coffee I heard a knock at the door. I rolled my eyes, sipping my coffee and wanting very badly wanting to ignore it.

I should have just snuck out with him. Then I wouldn't be ignoring somebody I will eventually have to let in, let fuck me, beat me, or choke me. Maybe even all of the above. The banging happened again. I sat my coffee down, I hopped off the counter and went straight to the door. I slipped in the key card and I opened the door to see it was just Korse.

I opened the door for him and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing my coffee again. I went to the other side of the room to the table at the window and sat on a stool with my back to the door.

"Why'd you run off?" I heard him call from the other room, I could hear his shoes clicking on the tiles as he entered the kitchen.

I held up my mug, turning my head to look at him for a second. I could hear him getting closer, then he stopped behind me. He put a hand on my shoulder and rubbed, I stiffened at his touch. I really didn't want to be with him right now, not after what I heard from Fun Ghoul. He immediately stopped, walking around the table and sat in one of the other stools.

I looked over at him from the window, the sky was so pale. The city looked bleak and sad. I felt like a rock was sitting in my stomach. "What's wrong baby?" Korse asked in his sickly soft voice he reserved for times he knew I was pissed.

I shrugged, taking another drink of my coffee, it was the last little bit, almost completely frothy milk. "I don't know. Do I need an upgrade or something? I don't feel right."

He raised his eyebrows for a second, looking genuinely concerned. "No, you shouldn't need anything like that. What do you mean by weird? Did somebody hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No, nothing like that. I feel kind of empty inside, like I'm missing something."

He scanned my face, reaching out to grab my hand, I took it. "I don't know how I can help you with that. Do you want to cuddle?"

I shook my head. "Not really, I just want to be alone."

He nodded, running his tongue over his top lip like he does when he's nervous. "I really want to help you baby, I'm worried about you." He paused. "Did you have any weird clients last night?"

My spine felt like ice was pressed to it, he's referring to catching me with Fun Ghoul. I shook my head. "No, not really."

He narrowed his eyes. "Really? No weird requests? Like piss?"

I shook my head. "No, just a lot of blowjobs." I saw his eyes scanned my body. "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "It's nothing, when I walked in on you last night I thought I recognized the person. You were with."

I pushed my mug forward. "Yeah, he was fucking hot."

Korse quickly looked at me, an angry expression on his face for a moment. He cleared his throat and immediately composed himself. "I couldn't see very well. It was too dark."

I nodded. "Trust me." He started to look mad again. "Well, I have to have good taste. I think you're fucking hot."

He nodded. "You've got a point there."

I yawned and stretched my arms over my head. "So, what did you want me to do today?"

He laced his fingers on the table. "Well, I was gonna see about getting a blowjob. But since you were stuck doing them all night, I don't really want to make you."

I shrugged. "I like doing it, you want to go back to the living room, or?"

He shook his head, shifting to face sideways on the stool. I got on my knees in front of him, helping him get his dick out. I placed my hands on his thighs. I don't know what's gotten into me, normally I'd be dying to suck his dick. But I really didn't want to.

I pushed all thoughts from my mind and gave him a smile, trying to produce lots of saliva. When my mouth was wet I licked a stripe up the underside of his dick, he was pretty much all the way hard. I put my lips around the head and was working my way further into my mouth, trying to completely soak his dick so I wouldn't have a sore throat afterwards.

When I had him halfway in he tangled his fingers into my hair, standing up and ramming the rest of the way in, he pushed into my throat so hard I choked. He just kept thrusting, not pulling out at all. I fought to move him out a little to get some air. I looked up at him, my eyes stung and started watering, he was smiling down at me.

He forced me further, I couldn't breathe,my forehead was pressed to his stomach. I felt my throat contracting, my vision went fuzzy and I couldn't hear anymore. I patted his thigh, I suddenly felt hot semen going down my throat, seeping out of my nose and around his cock down my chin. He finally let go, I fell back, choking on spit and cum.

"The fuck was that for?" I managed to say between breaths, I could feel it dripping down my face and neck. Tears now freely fell. "I thought you wanted me to suck it, not fucking suffocate me with it."

He laughed, walking over to me, wiping his dick off on my hair, shoving me over. "That's what you get for looking at other men. You know, there for a second I thought you weren't just a slut. But you are, you're just a fucktoy. Do you understand who you belong to?"

I nodded, managing to sit up again. "Say it!" He snapped.

"I belong to you!" I yelled back.

He sat back on the stool. "Good, now bend over the table. If you push any of the cum out on the floor, you have to lick it up."

I nodded. "Yes master." I wanted to cry, he's such an asshole. I bent over the table and he proceeded to fuck me for what felt like forever before he came inside me. I didn't really enjoy it. I made sure none of it got on the floor, I stood up and was about to leave the kitchen. He grabbed me from behind.

"Did I say you could leave? Where are you going?"

I motioned to my face. "I'm trying to clean you off my face, and I need to blow my nose."

He nodded and let me go, I went into the other room closing myself into the bathroom and locking the door. I sat in the floor and cried. I cried like I hadn't cried in years. I wanted Ghoul, I wanted to make Korse choke on my dick until he passed out. I wanted to hurt him and have him love me so much it killed him. Then he'd see how it feels.

I could hear banging on the door. "Baby, come out."

"No!" I shouted back. "I have to shit. Leave me alone."

He stopped knocking. "I can see your shadow under the door. Just come out."

I stood and flipped the door off, I walked over to the sink, and washed my face. I blew my nose and opened the bathroom door. He was waiting right outside the door.

"What's wrong with you?"

I stepped out, clearing my throat. It hurt to swallow. "That's what I was trying to ask you. I just want to be like the other droids. I don't want to feel anymore."

He walked over to me, I shrunk back from him. He pulled me to his chest, his smell was no longer sweet. He was nothing but a symbol of pain and fear for me. I really did use to love him, he taught me everything I know. But he just isn't who he used to be. He use to kiss me when he saw me, I just wanted that back.

Maybe Ghoul was all the way right. He can't love me, even Ghoul who hardly knows me would never do that to me  
He's never treated me like shit, I trust him more than Korse at this point.

"I love you baby."

I laughed into his chest, pushing him away. He let go and looked like he would hit me, I wasn't gonna let him see me scared. "I'd like you a lot more if you'd treat me better. Get the fuck out, I don't want to see you. The money I made this week is in my underwear drawer, take your cut and get the fuck away from me."

He laughed. "You don't mean that." He walked up to me, I backed away. Slamming the bathroom door in his face. I looked around the room, he was banging on the door. I saw the little window at the top of the wall. I stood on the edge of the bathtub and looked out of it, gripping for some kind of ledge to open it. It wouldn't move, there was no way to open it. I grabbed a shampoo bottle and hit the window as hard as I could.

My feet slipped out from under me, my back but the tub edge. I couldn't breathe, Korse busted into the room and looked down at me.

Everything seemed to play in slow motion, he reached for my hand I saw that glass shards stuck into my arm and hand. Bright red liquid seeped from my skin.

"Fucking shit! What did you do?" He demanded, my eyes went all fuzzy, black around the edges. My head fell sideways and I was out.

***

Bright white lights blinded me, I passed out again. I woke up to someone in white clothing messing with my arm. "The Droid is waking up!" They shouted. Somebody else walked up and put something on my mouth, everything went black.

The next time I woke up I was in my room, in bed. I turned over to go to sleep again, my arm felt like it was on fire. I looked down at it and it was all wrapped up. I winced, sitting up. My head was spinning. I looked around the room, but my vision was so blurry. Nobody appeared to be in the room with me, my throat hurt and my body ached. I saw that I was in loose pajamas that weren't mine. I needed to pee so bad. I got out of bed and slowly walked across the room. I had to hold onto everything I passed for support. I went into the bathroom, took a piss and the lack of light caught my eye. My window wasn't there. I turned to look better, it was just gone.

I went back to the living room and saw that my big windows were gone too. My entire world was closing in, I ran to the wall where the window used to be. Feeling all around. Fuck. That's not cool. I was in prison, this was prison. A sob was riding in my throat. That was my only connection to the outside. I walked over to my drawer where my key card normally is. I searched all my drawers, nothing but dildos.

I looked over at the door, a little screen was where the handle used to be. Why would he change the lock?

I walked over to the door and banged on it. "Let me the fuck out of here Korse!" I paused, pressing my ear to the door. "You can't do this to me!" I banged on the door more. "I will tear my fucking throat out, I swear to shit I will!" I screamed, I went into the kitchen and opened the drawer. No knives, not even forks, just spoons.

I slammed the drawer and got into the cabinet, I grabbed one of my cups and slammed it on the floor, it didn't break. It was made of clear plastic. My vision went fuzzy and I fell to the floor, I dragged myself back up and went into the living room.

I placed the room for a while before flipping on the TV, I sat down in front of it. "In other news, we believe that Fun Ghoul, one of the Killjoy's has resurfaced on Battery City."

"Oh fuck!" I yelled when they showed his sexy face on the TV. "I love you." I said at his picture. I turned the TV up.

"Better Living Industries will pay a million credits to anyone who can bring him in dead. And two million credits to anybody who can bring him in alive. The S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W unit is on it, but they aren't having much luck finding him. If you, or someone you know has seen him, we would encourage you to report to Better Living Industries immediately."

Killjoy. Why is that familiar? "Killjoy." I said out loud, the second I said it I passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note:
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! The comments and love mean so much to me! <3


	5. You're beautiful to me

When I woke up on the floor, my head hurt so bad, like somebody had tried to smash it open with a hammer. I turned my head and saw Korse sitting on the couch. He was smiling. "Hey baby."

I wanted to rip his eyes out. I managed to sit up, leaning on my hands. I didn't say a word, I gave him a dirty look.

"Hey, don't be angry with me, you seem confused."

Confused? Like I don't remember what just happened. "How could you leave me like this? I was so scared."

He placed his hand on his chest. "I didn't do anything, you just had an upgrade. You had some kind of software malfunction, you tried to cut yourself open in the bathroom. A simple break in your logic, you should be feeling better now."

I guess my head did feel different, maybe more clear. I was disoriented as fuck, but I wasn't sad. Just angry and confused. But I clearly remember he was after me. I don't remember what he was gonna do though.

"How do you remember last week?"

I blinked at him. "Week?"

He nodded. "You were gone for a week in repairs. Your files got corrupted due to an improper shut down. They had to try and fix it, so you may be remembering things wrong."

"I was asleep for a fucking week?" He nodded. "I remember you raping me, I went into the bathroom. I was gonna throw myself out the window, but I couldn't open it. I fell and something glass broke. That's what I remember, I bled."

He shook his head. "No, you leaked battery acid all over the floor, I thought you were gonna melt your own arm off. Your perception must have been off. I haven't heard the full diagnostics report they ran on you. But I can let you know when I do."

I shook my head, that just wasn't possible. "So what did they upgrade?"

He shrugged. "I'm not in control of these things, they probably made you less susceptible to shutting down unexpectedly."

I scoffed. "Well they did a fuck of a job. I've spent the last week passing out. Then I watched the news and went out when I heard." I shut up.

He raised an eyebrow. "Something they said on the news made you pass out."

I shook my head. "I don't know, I'm so fucked in the head that I don't remember." I remembered the windows. "Oh yeah, where the hell are my windows?"

He motioned towards me. "You said it yourself, you planned to throw yourself out of the window. What kind of person would I be if I allowed you the means to do so?" He examined his fingernails. "It's for your own good."

I got on all fours and started crawling to him, I didn't quite feel like I could walk. "You're a liar Korse, tell me the truth."

He watched me, he seemed amused at me crawling. "I've told you the truth, I just want you to be safe baby."

"Quit calling me baby! I'm not a child. Fucking treat me like I'm alive!"

He leaned forward, looking down at me. "Well, I would certainly do so if you were alive. You merely exist. Besides, what would you have me call you then?"

I remembered Fun Ghoul's name for me. "Red, call me Red."

He shook his head. "Most Pornodroid's with red hair are called Red. It's not very original."

I sat up in front of him. "Then don't call me anything. When can I resume working?"

He cleared his throat. "Well, I see no reason if you're feeling up to it to start back tomorrow."

I shook my head, I wanted to see Fun Ghoul, if he even shows up after a week. "No, tonight."

He raised an eyebrow. "You can't even walk. How can I allow people to fuck you if you can't even walk."

I grabbed the arm of the couch for leverage to pull myself up to my feet, I winced as all my limbs felt as if they'd seize up. "See, I can stand. Now, tell me how to work the door. I need to be able to open and close it."

He nodded, he walked me over to it andotioned me over. I made my way to him slowly. He pointed to the little button at the bottom of the screen. "This is a little intercom, you speak into it and it requests me to give permission to open the door. Locking it will require a reason."

He pressed the button, a little beep sent off in his pants. He reached in and grabbed out a small white box. "It's that simple."

I taped at him. "It's bullshit, that's what it is!" I grabbed the little white box from him and threw it across the room, it landed with a clatter on the floor. "I deserve the right to open my own door whenever the fuck I want!"

He shook his head. "No, we can't trust you."

I narrowed my eyes. "We? Who the hell is we?"

He opened his mouth for a moment and shut it. "Me and the people who…"

I poked my finger into his chest. "I knew it! You don't own me at all! You're just a pawn for somebody else. Get the fuck out of here."

He put his hands up. "I do own you, I am the sole owner of you, I was referring to the people who are responsible for fixing you if you get hurt. You need to respect me! I'm all you've got."

I shook my head. "No, you aren't. And no I don't. I want to be alone." I turned away from him. I decided I wasn't gonna speak to him anymore. Not tonight.

I saw him through the corner of my eye that he walked across the room, grabbing his little white box and left the room.

I went into the kitchen. My stomach was growling, I opened my fridge. It actually had some food in it. I grabbed out a frozen pizza from the freezer and preheated the oven. I went back to the living room and sat on the couch.

The rest of my night was so painfully uneventful, I watched soap operas muted and made up the story. I ate a whole pizza and passed out by 10:30.

The next day I only got one client, some guy not much taller than me with long shaggy hair and scruffle wanted a hand job. I did and he went on his way. He didn't even ask what was wrong with my other hand. I spent the rest of the day wondering if I did a good job pissing Korse off. I hary spoke into his intercom. But it did work pretty good, he hadn't given me a hard time yet.

When it was later into the night, the only way I could tell anymore was the clock on the wall, or the program on TV. I was about to just go to sleep, but I got a knock at my door. I went over and pressed the intercom button. "Korse, I've got someone at the door." The door beeped and I opened it.

Someone in a dark hoodie stood in the hall,his face in shadow. I looked down and saw his tattooed fingers. I grabbed his hand and pulled him in, slamming the door.

I immediately threw myself into his arms, squeezing him to me. "Ghoul! I fucking missed you."

He just let me hug him for a minute, I pulled away a little, but kept my hands on his shoulders. "I came back every day and you wouldn't answer the door." He pulled down the hood, he had tears in his eyes. "I had to stop coming when I heard the company has it out for me." He pointed at my arm. "What happened?"

I was going to cry, I knew it. "I tried to kill myself, they upgraded me, Korse raped me." I hadn't realized how much all of it bothered me until that moment. I buried my face in his chest. "I wanted to die so fucking bad, I missed you. I didn't even know I'd been gone and passed out for a week. Now they took my windows, and my door. I can't stay here anymore Ghoul."

He put his arms around my waist. "Hey, it's okay. I don't know what I can do to help you."

I looked up at him, he was crying too. "Take me with you. If not bring me a knife, or a blaster. Cause I'm gonna kill myself if the other option is staying."

He shook his head. "Red, that isn't fair. You can't do that to me."

I wiped my eyes with my hand. "I don't care what's fair, nothing about my life has been fair. I just know that I need you and nothing else matters."

He blinked and a tear fell down his face, he smiled. "You look so pathetic."

I frowned. "I am pathetic. It's all your fault! You showed me what it's like to be actually happy, and now you're like a drug." He made the cutest fucking face at me. "Let me kiss you."

He sighed, I pressed my lips to his. I ran my fingers into his hair and pulled him even closer. He pressed a hand to my back. I didn't want to ever stop.

He pulled away. "Okay, I have a couple of questions." I pulled his hand until he was at the couch, he sat.

"Go for it." I said, sitting on his lap, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Did you have to sit on me?" He asked.

"Absolutely."

He resumed. "I'm confused, what happened this week exactly?"

I shrugged. "I was drugged or something, I was in some white building with people doing stuff to me. It wasn't here at all. I kept passing out. Eventually I woke up in here with all my windows, my forks, and my knives gone. Even my cups are made of plastic. They really don't want me to kill myself."

He put a hand on my stomach. "You're the highest grossing Pornodroid ever created. If I made you, I'd want to keep you as well."

I sat up and turned to him. "I'd that true? Why?"

He shrugged. "You're also the only male Pornodroid. Everybody loves you."

I scoffed. "No they don't, they all just want to hurt me and feed into the machine that's damned me to this place. That's why I want out so bad." I couldn't slow down my breathing, I was gasping for air.

He grabbed my hand. "Hey, I'm trying to help you. You have to stay calm,nobody can know we're planning something."

I turned around and threw my legs over the side of the couch, making him hold me. "How can I be calm. I want to go with you now."

He shook his head, looking down at me. "You have to be patient, you're not the only life at risk here. Hell, I'm not even the only life at risk."

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you mean? Are there more Killjoys?" My vision went to static for a moment, but I didn't pass out.

He smiled. "Somebody's been watching the news."

"Like a hawk."

"Well, yeah, there's more than just me. But they aren't in the city. But it's just me and three others." He paused. "I don't want to tell you too much."

I groaned. "But I want to know."

"Last time I tried to tell you about this shit you passed out. And then you tried to seduce me."

I started messing with his hair. "Well, you also made me cum. So you aren't an angel yourself."

He put a hand up. "All I did was kiss you."

I narrowed my eyes. "You laughed into my mouth. I can't handle that shit. Not from you, and it doesn't help that you're the hottest guy ever."

He laughed. "Ever?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I could have an orgasm just looking at you. But I have more self control than that."

He frowned. "So you just like me for my looks?"

I shook my head. "No, you're sweet and sensitive. And you actually give a fuck."

He smiled. "I do?"

I sat up. "Don't act like you don't care about me, you didn't have to come back. Nobody is making you. You want to be with me, I can tell."

He put his arm under my legs, the other went around my waist, he tried to put me on the couch next to him. I clung to his neck, pulling him on top of me. "What are you doing?"

"I want you to cuddle me!" I yelled, looking up at him. "Please."

He sighed, resting his arm next to my head. My feet were on the floor, I shifted in the couch to be comfortable.

"I'm hungry red, I need to eat before I can cuddle with you."

I frowned at him. "Fine, let's go to the kitchen. But you have to promise to spoon with me."

He got off the couch, unzipping his jacket and dropped it to the floor. He was wearing a shirt with a skull that read 'The Misfits' across the bottom. Oh shit, his arms are so covered with tattoos. I watched him walk to the kitchen before following him. We ended up eating grilled cheese together.

I ate really quick so we could cuddle sooner. When we were done we went back to the living room. Turning on the TV to soap operas with the volume off. I looked down at him laying on the couch and smiled. "I don't think you understand how much I love you."

He rolled his eyes and motioned me to him. I laid down on the couch, scooting into him, he put a heavy arm around my waist, draping it across my stomach, his other arm rested under my head for support. I could feel his breath down my neck.

This was it, I legit could die happy like this. When he breathed and his stomach pressed against my back and he held me even tighter. The smell of him was constant, his slow breathing could have made me fall asleep.

"I wasn't bullshitting, I really think I'm in love with you."

He sighed. "I believe you."

"I don't expect you to say it back or anything. I just need you to know I don't really like you just for looks. I'm actually me right now, I'm alive right now. I'm not just existing when I'm with you. I don't want to die anymore when you're here."

He lifted his arm off my waist and moved my hair to the side, brushing his lips over the back of my neck, kissing the side of my neck. I moaned and reached up for his hand, bringing it to my mouth to kiss it. He cupped my face and I turned my body so we were facing each other.

He pulled me into a kiss, running his tongue over my lips. My stomach dropped and I inhaled sharply. He laughed softly, I opened my mouth and closed my eyes. He pressed his mouth to mine and ran his tongue over mine and I couldn't stop a strange noise that came from my throat. He made every part of me feel so sensitive.

We played with each other's tongues for a while. He pressed his hand to my side, sliding his hand under my shirt. He pulled away from the kiss, pressing his lips to my jawline. I was about to lose my fucking mind.

He ran his hand up my side, looking at me. "Is this okay with you?" I nodded quickly, he pulled me on top of him and we continued making out. I pulled his shirt up and revealed even more ink, there truly wasn't an inch of him that didn't have some design. I latched onto one of his nipples and played with it using my tongue and teeth.

He laughed. "Oh fuck." I could feel that he was getting hard through his pants. I lifted up and latched onto his mouth again. Rubbing against him, even though we had our clothes on, everything felt so much stronger. He put his hands on my hips, rolling them against me. We were both moaning messes, stopping out kissing only for air.

"I'm sorry." He said, looking at me, removing his hands.

"For what?"

He breathed deeply. "I can't do this to you. We need to stop.

I was so close, I shook my head. "No, I want this. You don't understand how much I want this."

He put his hands on me, sitting both of us up. "No, this isn't fair.",

I put my hands on the sides of his face. "No, please don't stop. We aren't really doing anything."

He sighed. "This is still sex, and it's not fair to you, me, or him."

I pressed my lips to his neck. "Ghoul. You're here for a reason. Do you really think he would want you to be alone forever?"

He rubbed my back. "I don't know, he was ripped from me Red. I don't know what he would have wanted. I sure as hell don't think he would have approved of my fucking someone who looked like him, not if he couldn't join."

I nodded. "I understand. What do we do about our dicks?"

He patted my back. "I'm gonna go jerk off in the bathroom, you can do whatever you want with yours."

I licked my lips, trying to calm down. "Okay, can we cuddle afterwards. I climbed off of him, shifting uncomfortably. "I won't try anything funny. I promise, I just want to sleep."

He smiled. "Of course then." He went into the bathroom.

I finished jerking myself off in my pants, changing into shorts afterwards. I could hear him in the bathroom, struggling to be quiet. I tried not to listen, turning on a porn and laying in bed. He joined me a couple minutes later and we went out like lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you so much for reading! All of the comments and love for this story is something I haven't gotten before and I want to thank all of you!
> 
> I wouldn't be writing if it wasn't for this beautiful community! <3
> 
> Let me know what you think of the story in the comments! Any feedback is appreciated!


	6. Everybody hide your body from the S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Ghoul told me he had to leave early the next morning. We were sitting up in bed. We'd drank coffee and we're laying in bed together on top of the covers. His hair was a mess and he looked so handsome. "Are you mad at me?"

Ghoul was sitting half up, I had my head rested on his lap, looking up at him. "About what?"

I reached for his hand, examining it. "Our clothes sex last night."

He shook his head. "No, that was both of us. I actually think I needed that. As fucked up as that sounds."

I rubbed the top of his hand. "There's nothing fucked up about it. We both wanted it, it's not like we took advantage of each other." I smiled up at him. "I can't wait for it to just be us. I can't even imagine being out there. What's it like?"

Be laughed. "Loud, loud and it stinks. The desert is where you'll love. Everybody is free out there."

I saw a sadness cross over his face after he said that, his eyes dropped to the bed. "Why didn't you stay out there with them?"

He sighed. "Shit fell apart after… They died."

I squeezed his hand. "They?"

He nodded, he looked up at the ceiling. I could see tears in his eyes. "Yeah, he wasn't the only one who. Well I don't want to bum you out. But you'll love Jet Star when you get to meet him. He'll like you too, once he gets past your looks."

I nodded. "Do I really look that much like him?"

He nodded. "Yeah, it's weird. You're jarring at first. I'm used to it since your mannerisms are so different. But shit, if I hadn't been so close to the real him. I'd freak out."

He rubbed his eye with his other hand. "It's just crazy they got away with making you. You'd think that shit would be illegal."

I laughed. "I know, this level of sexy should be outlawed. Am I right?"

He shook his head, smiling. "I'm biased."

I traced the lines on his palm with my finger. "So, were you two married?"

He shook his head. "Killjoys don't get married, that would be too limiting. But I'm pretty sure we only had sex with each other. Unless it wasn't just us." He smiled, staring down at the bed.

I sat up, scooting closer to him. "So, were you the top?"

He shrugged. "We did whatever we wanted. We literally tried everything."

I gasped. "Korse asked if somebody asked me to do piss play."

He laughed. "Oh my God, everybody goes there. I told him not to wear that fucking bandana."

I didn't get the reference, but I smiled because it was hard not to when he was. "I wish I could have met him. He sounds like fun."

He shook his head. "He was, but he was so fucking intense, everything mattered to him. He would have read you like a book."

"Why is that?"

"He did that to everybody, he could tell if you pissed standing just by seeing how you took a joke." I laughed, he continued. "I'm serious. It was his favorite thing to figure out about people." He looked down. "He could have made me do anything." He looked up at the clock on the wall above the couch. "Shit, I've gotta go Red. I'm sorry." He stood and walked over to grab his hoodie from the floor, zipping it up.

I stood and walked over to him. "Can I kiss you?"

He leaned forward and pecked me on the lips. He walked over to the door, I walked with him. "Don't talk when I press this, okay?"

He nodded, I pressed the button. "Hey, I've got a client leaving." I looked over at Ghoul, he put his hood up, shoving his hands into his pockets. The door beeped. I opened it.

Korse stood leaned against the wall across from us, I could feel myself panicking. I stepped out into the hall and walked over to Korse, getting on my tip toes to kiss him. He tried to get away, I forced myself onto him harder.

I could see Ghoul make his way to the elevator, looking over at me for a moment, I was so ashamed he was seeing this. He disappeared into the elevator and Korse pushed me away.

"You can't treat me like you did the other day and expect me to want to kiss you. Besides, in front of a client?"

I forced tears to my eyes, my breath was shaking pathetically. "I just… I'm so sorry. I never meant to make you think I don't love you. I just lost my head, I'm emotional from the upgrade I suppose." He was totally buying my bullshit. He put an arm around me.

"Well, let's get you back to your room. Have you eaten?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I did. I didn't get a lot of sleep, that client just kept making me suck his dick. It was crazy, made a shit ton of money though."

He nodded. "That's good. Hey, are you sure you shouldn't take more time off?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it gives me something to do. I think it's done me a lot of good."

He walked me over to the couch and we sat down. He went and closed the door, on his way back he stopped to pick something off the floor just in front of me. He sat with me, examining it with a serious look on his face.

"What is that?" I asked, panic rising in me, I knew it must have fell out of Ghoul's pocket last night.

"It's a lighter." He said, holding it out to me. "I haven't seen one like this in years."

I shrugged. "I don't see what's so special about it? I've seen you use one."

He shook his head. "No, you've seen me use Better Living issued lighters. This one has Frankenstein on it."

I legitimately didn't understand why this was so important. I leaned my head on his shoulder. He made me feel like throwing up. But I figured if nothing else, being all sweet to him was in my best interest.

He leaned his head against mine. "I missed you baby."

I wanted to hit him for that. "I know, me too. Did you want me to do anything for you?"

He shook his head. "No, this is fine. I figured we could just talk. I didn't even plan to come in."

I reached for his hand, it felt like ice. Veins bulged from his hand and his skin was so pale. Nothing like Ghoul's, Korse's felt like a corpses hand. "I wanted to ask you about all this Killjoy stuff on the news. What's a Killjoy?"

He laughed. "A group of four to six degenerates from the desert. They were under the impression they could over throw the very government that keeps us safe. They claimed to have a little girl prophesized to reawaken some Droid God from the desert. It was a crock of religious bullshit that got half of them killed. I was a S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W back then."

I lifted my head to look at him. "What's a S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W?"

He smiled, looking so proud of himself. "It's a Sub-Unit of Better Living. We were assassin's, meant to hold a specific kill count."

My heart was pounding, the smile on his face was sickening. "Why?"

He looked at me. "Well, it was so we wouldn't be deemed emotionally connected to other people. I was the one who killed the leader of the Killjoys and his brother."

I blinked at him, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He killed somebody and made a Droid that looked just like him so he could fuck and beat it? His the fuck am I supposed to keep this act up? Remember what you've done your whole life. Just ignore it, do your job. You'll be with Fun Ghoul and out of here in no time.

He sighed. "That was a long time ago. I was demoted."

I laid down with my feet in his lap. He ran his hand over the top of my foot. "Sorry, I just got dizzy."

He nodded. "That's probably normal, you've gone through a lot. How does your arm feel?"

I looked down at it. "I guess it's okay. When can I take the bandage off?"

He picked my foot up and kissed the top of it. "I'm not sure, that's a medicated bandage. There's a good chance it's repaired already. You want me to take it off for you?"

I sat up, I just really wanted something to do. I held my arm out to him, he pulled the tape, it immediately hurt somewhere deep in my arm, but I tried not to show it. He started to unwrap the bandage, when it was all the way off. I could see marks left where it was, but it was purple and shiny welts.

"Hey, it repaired almost seamlessly."

I frowned at the purple marks, it was super noticeable, a mark straight across the top of my hand. Four different spots on my wrist, leading halfway up my forearm, tiny little marks were all over. "Man, that fucked me up."

He ran a finger over the deepest cut on my wrist. "Of course it did, but considering the damage, the result is pretty good. Besides, scars build character." He pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed my wrist, running his tongue through one of the welts.

I wanted to pull my hand away and hit him, but I let him kiss up my arm, crawling on top of me. I let him kiss my neck and then my cheek. "Korse, I don't want to have sex. I haven't had anything in my ass for a week, I don't think it's a good idea."

He laughed. "I know that, we'll have to build you back up to that. I was gonna give you a blowjob. You haven't had one of those in a long time."

I stared down at him, maybe I could really get payback. I honestly don't think he's ever given me a blowjob, he made another Pornodroid do it. "I'd like that." I have him a smile, scooting up to lean my back on the couch so I could watch him do it.

He unbuttoned my shorts, zipping them down and pulling them just low enough so my dick was out. It's so weird, I forget I have it sometimes. He looked down at it and I actually think I blushed. I don't know why, I get really nervous when guys touch my dick.

He picked it up and placed his lips on the head. Oh fuck, I saw sparks for second. It's too sensitive, nobody ever even touches it. He had me hard in no time,he put his mouth on my dick and started bobbing his head. I honestly wanted to shove him off, it was just a little too much. My mind went blank for a minute, just the sensation was becoming nice.

Then I remembered the leader of the Killjoys, his brother. That's a mood killer, then I remembered gagging on his dick.

I put my hands on the back of his head, shoving him onto me further. He was a lot stronger than me though, he pulled off of me. "Hey, I'll go further when I want to."

I put my hands up. "Sorry, I got carried away."

He surprised me by shoving it all the way in, shit, he wasn't choking on it at all. How much dick is he sucking? Surely not more than me. Unless, he was demoted for having an emotional attachment to somebody. Is he with someone else?

Korse suddenly pulled off of my dick, spit running from the head to his mouth. Drilling off his bottom lip. "Hey baby, am I doing something wrong?"

I shook my head. "No, it feels good. I guess I'm just not used to anybody using my dick. It's almost too much."

He sat up. "I'm sorry baby. Would you rather me give you a hand job?"

I shook my head, stuffing my dick back into my shorts. It wasn't very comfortable shoving a fully erect dick into a pair of shorts. "No, I'm sorry. I don't know what's up with me."

He nodded. "That's okay." He wiped his mouth off, he looked disappointed. I'm glad he is, did he honestly think he could tell me about how his job was killing a fuck ton of people with no remorse and then expect to get me off? Nothing about that is hot.

He yawned, stretching his arms over his head, this would have been cute just a month ago. That's what sucks, he's fucking hot. Why can't people look on the outside his they do inside. That would be so much easier.

He stood up and looked at me. "Hey, do you want me to run it and get us something to eat?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good. But what about work?"

He shrugged. "Take the rest of the rest of the day off. It's been a while since we just hung out."

I really didn't want to, that sounded awful. Pretending he's not a total piece of shit. But I could do it, it would be worth it. I've done it for this long. I can't believe I actually loved him. I guess I just didn't know any better.

He leaned over and gave me a kiss on the lips before leaving. I considered jerking off to get rid of my hard on. But I really didn't want to get any satisfaction from something he started. I went into the bathroom and hopped in the shower, I didn't want smell like him anymore.

I wasn't in for long, just long enough to wash my body. My hard on went away by the time I was done and I went back into the living room just in time. He came in with two little bento boxes, fuck, he knows I'm sucker for sushi.

I couldn't help but smile, something in me badly wished I could forget everything and just be happy. Sometimes he was great, he was so kind unless he was fucking me. I sat on the couch and he gave me the box, I hate all of sushi within five minute. He wasn't even hardly into his.

"Did you like that?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I was fucking hungry too.".

He smiled at me. "You look so pretty today."

He was really laying it on thick today. Maybe he senses that it's over soon. I hope not. "Korse, you didn't have to do all of this."

He shook his head. "Of course I do, you've been through a lot. I should have been more understanding."

I just stared into my bento box, he was making me feel bad. I didn't want to, I have no reason to. I'm not wrong here, he's fucking crazy.

Or am I crazy? I mean, I am a Droid. Who am I to judge him, at least he's actually alive. Maybe I was being too harsh. But then I thought of Fun Ghoul, and the tortured look on his face when he thinks of the former leader of the Killjoys. And then I looked at Korse, the man with no remorse for killing them and countless others.

He ruined that beautiful man's life. So no, I'm not being too harsh, I'm not wrong. He doesn't care about me, this is all just him trying to make me have sex with him, and love him. And for what? A couple minutes of happiness only to be forced by him to do anything people want me to?

I'll see Fun Ghoul tomorrow, and then maybe he'll have a plan. You just have to make it till tomorrow. Your heart is bulletproof. Why was that so familiar? Like somebody said it to me. But there was more to it, is have to figure it out. Or maybe it's another memory I'll have to ask Fun Ghoul about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I really love how this story is turning out so far. I'd love to hear what you think!
> 
> To everyone who leaves nice comments and even just reads this, you are what is making this story so fun to write!
> 
> ( ◜‿◝ )♡


	7. Love Won't Stop This Bomb

I didn't see Fun Ghoul for another two days, when he finally knocked on my door that night, I quickly pulled him in. I held his hand and pulled him to the couch and we sat down. "I've been waiting for you! What took you so long?"

He gave me a half smile, I could tell something was wrong. "I was trying to come up with a game plan to get you out of here." He stared down at our hands.

I leaned forward. "And?"

He sighed. "It's not good, Red." He looked up into my eyes. "If you leave the boundaries of Battery City, you'll shut down."

My chest was drumming, like something in me couldn't compute this fact. "You mean, I'll die?"

He nodded. "Yes, and while you could stay here. They'd find you eventually, you're too important to them."

I nodded, looking down. "Well, I see no reason we shouldn't do it anyway." I looked back into his eyes. "I don't care if I die. Especially not if I end my days with you. We can have one perfect day in the City, you can show me your favorite spots. Then we'll leave. You escape this City, and I never give Korse what he wants. Bury my body in the desert."

Tears were welling in his eyes. "I don't know if I can do that. I can't just kill you like that." His shoulders shook. "If I have to see him die again…" He put his head in his hand. "I just don't think I can do it again."

I hadn't thought of that. "But… I am different from the other Droids. What if that doesn't apply to me?"

He sniffed, looking up at me. "I don't know if that's possible. Droids self destruct when they leave the city so Killjoys can't use them."

I nodded. "Well, as long as you're with me most of the day you can just drop me off at the exit. You don't have to look. I don't know… I have to try. It's better than this, isn't it?"

He shrugged. "I just wish I could do more for you."

I moved over to him, pulling him to my chest, he wrapped his arms around me and I laid down so he was resting on me. "I don't think you understand how much you've helped me, you gave me a purpose Ghoul."

His breath was hot on my neck, my shirt was wet with his tears. When his breathing slowed more he nuzzled his nose into my neck.

I ran my fingers through his hair. "I don't want you to be sad Ghoul. I just want you to be happy. If you really want, you can just leave the City. I'm just a Droid. There's no reason for you to break your heart over me."

He shook his head, lifting up to look at me. "Then what would be the point in all of this? We're in this together now, until the end." He smiled at me.

I could feel tears falling down my face, he broke my heart every time he gave me that look. My lower lip trembled, he leaned forward and kissed me. He leaned more into it and shifted to cup my face with his hand.

I put my hand on his shoulder, squeezing and using my other hand to run up the back of his shirt. He separated the kiss and pressed his lips to my jaw for a second, moving to my neck and sucking softly on a spot of skin that was sensitive.

I moaned softly and rubbed his back. My head felt light, I dropped my head to the side, allowing him all the skin he needed. He pressed my waist with his hand, running his hand up my shirt to grip at my ribs. My breath hitched in my throat and the sensation was perfect.

His lips moved from my neck and the cold air took it's place. He kissed my collarbone, looking up at me again. I gave him a smile, putting my hand on the side of his face. "You're so perfect."

He shook his head, the smile returning to his face. "I think I'm starting to fall in love with you Red."

I froze, my throat tickled and my lip trembled. "Ghoul. Do you mean that?"

He nodded. "It fucking sucks, because I know you probably think it's because you look like him. But it really isn't." He pressed his face into my neck. "I just wish we could do this forever."

I pressed my lips into his hair. "Me too. I feel so safe in your arms. Like nothing matters." I remembered the phrase that echoed in my mind. "Hey, did you tell me before that I have a bulletproof heart?"

His head jerked up, he looked in my eyes. "What?" He sat up, looking down at me.

I hadn't expected him to react like that. "Were you the one who said that to me? It popped into my head the other day."

He started crying again, he looked distraut and like his heart was breaking, he collapsed back onto me sobbing.

I squeezed him. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad."

He was talking, but I couldn't make any of it out. Eventually his breathing slowed down and he lifted his head. "That's what Poison use to say. How the fuck do you know that?" He was still crying, almost choking on his tears.

I shrugged. "I really have no idea. Is there any way that maybe Korse put some of his memories into my mind?"

He shook his head. "Poison was shot in the head, there's no way anything that was in his mind survived." He sniffed. "What's the first thing you remember?"

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to think back. "My earliest memories are all just being trained."

He nodded. "What sort of training?"

I didn't really want to say it to him. "Getting rid of my gag reflex and Korse fucking me with different dildos."

He shook his head. "I don't understand. How can you remember stuff he did?" His eyes widened. "Even some of the noises you made the other night. It was exactly like he did. The whining sound in your voice. It's stuff Korse would have never heard, things he would have never known."

I wiped tears from his face. "I'm just gonna have to try and find out. I think I can get away with a lot as far as Korse goes right now. He's being such a pushover. He just misses my ass."

He laughed. "Is he really?"

I nodded. "He'd do anything right now to fuck me, but he knows I won't let him. He talked about helping me train my ass back how it was."

He raised an eyebrow. "Does you need to do that?"

I shook my head. "Probably not, but I can let him think that I do. It could hurt next time. I'm just not sure."

He nodded. "I guess yours might, my ass never really went back to how it was."

I could feel my face getting hot thinking about him trying to fuck himself. I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind. "How long has it been?" He looked confused. "I mean since Poison died, not since you did anal."

He waited a moment before speaking. "Actually it's the same amount of time for both. It was around 2 years ago."

"Wow, that's a long time."

He looked down at my chest. "That's not to say I haven't had sex in 2 years. I might just not remember, I did nothing but drink there for a while. I drank and hung out by myself. If not I went to cheap clubs. It was a really rough time. Then I heard about you… And I had to come and see you, it took six months to get the money."

"So you were living in the city this whole time?" He nodded. "Why? You could have been caught."

He shrugged. "I didn't really care. I was trying to get her back."

I scanned his face, he looked so sad. "Who's she?"

He looked at me. "The girl. But I guess they turned her to their side. He cared about her so much, I just couldn't give up. The others told me to drop it, but I couldn't."

I nodded. "I'm sorry. About everything."

He shrugged. "There isn't much we can do about shit like that. That saying you remember, I did say that to him. He always said that I had a hollowpoint smile."

I smiled. "That's so sweet!"

He nodded. "It was." He paused. "I guess you probably don't want me make out with me now. I'm all snotty."

I smiled. "I'm snotty too." I pulled him down to me and kissed him. I could feel him press his hand to my ass through my shorts. His lips sloppily playing with mine, our tongues exploring each other's mouths. He pulled away from the kiss after a few minutes, his breath hot on my face.

"I know we can't have sex. But there's something I want to do." I managed to say, my stomach was all in knots, I wanted him so bad.

He looked into my eyes, panting for breath. "What is it?"

I ran my hand down his chest. "I want to suck your fingers."

He smiled. "Is that what you want?"

I nodded. "Yes, please. Hands are my thing. Nobody ever wants me to play with them though."

He raised his eyebrows. "I guess so, how do you need me?"

I couldn't believe he said yes, I've wanted to do this since I first saw his hands. I sat up. "You can sit on the couch."

He got off of me, sitting down on the couch. I walked over to my speakers and put on a playlist I reserve for times when I'm alone. I went back over to him, getting on my knees, pressing my hands to his thighs.

He looked down at me like he didn't know what I was doing. I gave him a smile and grabbed one of his hands, fuck, they were so soft and warm. His ink covered fingers were so long. I pressed my lips to his fingertips, he just held his arm out for me.

I licked up his middle finger. Slipping it into my mouth, I sucked on it, pressing my tongue to the underside of his finger, I pulled away and took his pointer finger into my mouth as well. Sucking softly on them, my tongue swirled on them.

I bobbed my head on them, it felt so good. I moaned onto his hand and pulled away. Kissing the top of his hand, flipping it over to his palm, tonguing at the lines on his hand. I then slipped his thumb into my mouth as far as it would go. I hollowed my cheeks and opened my eyes for a moment.

His cheeks were red and his eyes were closed tightly. He opened them and looked at me. I pulled my mouth off his thumb. "Fuck." He said, shifting how he sat.

I was breathing hard and the friction in my shorts was so frustrating. "Is something wrong?"

He shook his head. "No, that was fucking hot. I didn't even know that was a thing. You just gave my hand a fucking blowjob."

I brushed my hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be sorry. I just need to go splash some cold water on my face or something."

I put my hand on his knee. "Okay. You aren't mad are you?"

He smiled. "No, I'm horny. I just need to go cool down before I take it out on you."

I really wanted him to take it out on me, but I stood up and got on the couch. I really wanted somebody to fuck me. I watched him go into the bathroom and ended up jerking myself off, rinsing off in the sink and sitting on the couch. I wondered if he jerked off too when he came out twenty minutes later and sat on the couch with me.

"I'm sorry about that." He said, sighing and staring down at his lap.

"You have no reason to be sorry."

He nodded. "I know, but I really didn't expect that to turn me on. That's why I let you do it, I just wanted you to get off on it."

I smiled. "I wanted to do it, and I'm glad you liked it. You don't have to feel like you're using me. I like doing this stuff with you."

He nodded. "I know, but so many people just use you for sex. I don't want you to feel like that with me."

I stood and walked over to the TV, putting in some porn and changed into a little yellow nightgown.

He watche me. "Are we going to bed?"

I shrugged. "We don't have to. I just wanted to lay down. I'm getting tired."

He nodded, he walked over to the bed and took off everything but his shirt and boxers. He patted the bed next to him. I walked over and laid with him, pressing my back to him.

"When do you want to try and get out of here?"

I thought for a second, if I was gonna find anything out from Korse, I would need at least one day. "How about two days fom now?"

He took my hand, squeezing it to my chest. "That sounds good to me. I'll come over the night before. If you want we can start your perfect day that night. It'll be easier to get out of here if we do it at night."

I nodded. "Yeah, that sounds perfect."

I tried not to think about our plans at all, forcing myself to go to sleep in his arms. It's not like I could change whatever was going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter, and this story in general. We don't have many chapters left, and you guys are really what makes this story so rewarding to pour hours of writing into!
> 
> I love you guys! <3


	8. Face All The Pain and Take It On

The next morning Ghoul left in a hurry, he did kiss me before he left though. I spent the rest of my day giving blowjobs and handjobs to assorted men. Two asked about the scars on my arm, I didn't tell them much.

That night Korse came to my door, I could immediately tell he was drunk. He grabbed at my chest and pressed me to the wall the second he came in. I pushed at him and told him I didn't want to have sex tonight. He pulled away.

"I want to tell you a story baby. Do you want to hear it?" I nodded, anything to get out of being fucked by him. He pulled me to the floor, we sat facing each other. His eyes were so red, sweat beaded on his forehead, it not appeared he'd done more than drink. "It's the story of how I got demoted."

I tried not to look scared, but I'm pretty sure I was failing. I really didn't want to hear it, but then again maybe I'll get some answers.

"It was suppose to be a normal night, we had the girl and everything was going to plan. But the alarms went off, there'd been a security breach." His words were slurred and I had a hard time making out what he was saying. He leaned back on his hands. "I heard that the Killjoys had come to get her back." He stared down at the floor. "Me and several Dracs went there and we found them about to escape with her. It all got so fucked up baby, you don't even understand. This guy had been fucking with my head this whole time. I hate to admit I really did like him, he had spirit, an ass, and beautiful eyes. I wanted him, I just wanted to own him." He trailed off. "Anyway, I'm getting side tracked. I cornered him first, he was so desperate, so scared. He knew he was going to die, I think he was probably just relieved to be going first."

I could feel tears trailing down my face, I don't really even know why. "Korse, I don't want to-"

He put his finger up, gripping me by the collar of my shirt. "Don't interrupt me!" He just stared at me. "Are we clear?" He yelled, I nodded, the tears wouldn't stop falling. "I looked in his eyes, smiling. He looked me in the eyes the whole time, I could hear his brother screaming for him. The sounds of guns in the air, the smell of burning Drac flesh in my nose. Mixing with his fear, it was the most erotic feeling. His life in my hands."

He let go of my shirt collar, standing up. I stared up at him, I was so terrified of him. I wanted to get that little white box from his pocket and let myself out. He walked into the kitchen, coming back a couple of minutes later with a bottle in his hand. "I'm surprised you haven't drank any of this."

I still just stared at him, I couldn't even move. He now just paced the living room, taking gulps out of the bottle. "It's too fucking quiet, put on some music!" He stared down at me, stopping. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

I stood and walked over to the speaker, putting on a record. I put on his favorite, sitting down on the couch, putting my knees to my chest. I just watched him.

"So I just pulled the trigger, easiest thing in the world. It's just a button, that's what I used to tell myself. This beautiful man, so much ambition, so much..." He spat out the last word. "Hope." He stopped, turning to me. "That's what you have, I can tell. You have so much hope, you think you'll be free one day. You're a canary in a fucking cage, a cage that I built for you. And you chirp for me, you dance for me. And I get off just knowing you have no wings, you stumble through this jungle of semen and carnal pleasure. But you still have hope!" He screamed the last line in my face, the bottle dropping form his hands. I could hear the contents leaving the bottle into the expensive rug. "What is it that makes you hope for something more?"

I was shaking, my stomach was sick and I didn't want to speak. "I just want to be loved." I sobbed, trying to wipe my face. "I just want somebody to love me. Actually love me!"

He leaned over me, pressing his lips to my forehead, I could smell the sweet bitter alcohol. "I do love you baby."

I didn't even bother responding, he pressed his lips to my lips next. He put his arms around my waist, pulling me up. I didn't fight him, he picked me up and carried me over to the bed. "I'll prove it to you." He started pulling my shirt off. I laid limp on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

He's right, I am a bird in a cage. But I am getting out of here. I have to, on more night. This is all I have to do. I pushed out of my mind the fact I'd thought this many times. I could feel him pulling my shorts off, then my underwear that I decided to wear today. He turned me over, my feet on the carpet, my face in the sheets.

I could hear him spit, then I felt the burn. I definitely needed more than spit for lube. I could feel my muscles clamp around him. I cried out in spite of myself, my feet went out from under me, I struggled to get them back under me.

He immediately pulled out, ramming it right back in. It hurt so bad, I swore he was tearing me apart. I wished I had drank some of that, maybe I wouldn't feel this so much if I had. "You feel so fucking good baby."

I choked on my breath, one more night. I repeated it to myself. I felt his hand around my throat, pulling me up. I arched my back, trying to put my hands on the bed so all my weight wouldn't be on my neck. He licked my shoulder, up my neck and pulled me to him. He sloppily pressed his lips to mine, spit slicking our mouths.

"You just let me take you, you're such a good slut. Fuck, I took everything from you. Didn't I?" He shoved me back into the bed, ramming even further into me.

I cried into the sheets, trying to reach behind me and relieve some of the pressure he was putting on my back, I couldn't breathe, he was crushing me. I finally got my hand on one of his arms, digging my nails in.

He lifted that arm and slapped me across the back of my head.

"This isn't love." I choked out.

He leaned down to my ear. "It is now."

"I hate you!" I screamed at him, he put his hand over my mouth. I bit down as hard as I could. I could taste metal, blood spurting out on the sheets, I could feel it down my mouth. I let his hand go, he pulled out.  
I tried to turn over, but it hurt. My whole body hurt, I finally rolled over. He was sitting on the floor, his pants down to his knees. I sat up. "Don't ever do that to me again!" I yelled. "If you do, I'll fucking kill you."

He looked up at me, fear in his eyes. "That's the worst part of all this, I have no power over you. I could never stand up to him, even now. Even in the end." He stared at the floor, squeezing his bleeding palm.

Did he know I was getting out of here? There's no possible way he would know.  
"I thought I could take it from you, like my father did me. But no matter how hard I hit you, no matter how much pain I put you through. I saw you with him, like two peas in a fucking pod. You will always love him more than me."

Okay, now he was for sure talking about Ghoul, how the fuck did he know?

"He screamed every time somebody told him to shut up. He ruined my whole world with his smile. I wanted to kill him, I really did. I guess I just wasn't strong enough. Not even now." He laid on the floor, he looked so pathetic. He has no power at all, he doesn't own me. I'm free.

I went into the bathroom, stepping over him. I looked into the mirror, his blood was all over my face, down my neck and chest. I washed myself off in the sink. Going back into the other room, I got into the closet and put on some pants and a crop top.

"Why do they make blasters with a stun setting? The option should never be there. That's what makes us weak, the option for mercy." He stood, his blood still flowing. "I'm going to the hospital." He tossed something from his pocket to me, I caught it. It was a little white box with a black smiley face on it. "Do whatever the fuck you want. You will anyway."

I watched him leave the room, I looked down at the box in my hand. Why would he give me this? I can't use it, I have to wait on Ghoul. Maybe he'll forget he gave it to me, I'll hide it. I went over to my drawer with the dildos, I took one to the kitchen, using a spoon handle to jab into the base of it. I shoved the box into it and put it back into my drawer. Now I have a way for me and Ghoul to get out without him knowing.

I couldn't keep from shaking, I sat down on the couch, staring at the bed. I just kept feeling him inside me, over and over. I went over to the TV and turned it on. The news was on, I could see a picture of a white car with a spider on the hood.

"A major security breach has occurred at the residence of prior S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W Korse. It was the vehicle of the Killjoys, confiscated by Korse after they were defeated. It has reportedly been stolen by somebody in a purple mask, seen heading south towards the night club 'Vampire Money' The reward for capturing the person who stole this vehicle would be met with endless rewards and even an offer for a position with Better Living."

I stood and walked back over to the dildo drawer, getting the one with the box out, taking it from the hollow. Surely it's Fun Ghoul who stole that car. He must be setting up for us to leave. But I have this, couldn't I just go, surely this club isn't that hard to find. It's just south of here, Korse lives here.

I got into my closet, changing into the best damn dress I own. Going into the bathroom, I put on some heels, a black wig and lipstick. I went to the intercom, pressing the button, the little device beeped, I pressed the button and the door beeped. I opened the door and stepped into the eerily quiet hall. Closing the door behind me. I stared across the hall at Korse's door. I decided why not go in? I stepped across and opened the door, he hadn't locked it. I stepped in and saw a totally normal apartment room. I went through an open door on the other side of the room, my heart thumping.

I saw a large bed, on the wall opposite of it I saw a mannequin wearing a blue jacket, a red wig and light blue pants. My blood ran cold, I went over and put my hand on the shiny blue material.

I immediately passed out.

***  
I was outside, the desert sky above me, I saw Fun Ghoul sitting on the trunk of a white car. I hopped on and put my arms around his waist, my legs around him.  
"Why'd you disappear?"

"I couldn't sleep."

I pressed my lips to his ear. "Why, is something bothering you?"

He shook his head and turned to press his lips to mine. "I was just thinking about what you said earlier, about the Phoenix witch. Do you really believe all that?"

I shrugged and squeezed his waist, lacing my fingers on his stomach. "I don't know, we have to believe in something. Especially her, she could really use some hope."

"Do you really love me?" Ghoul asked.  
I hummed and kissed him on the neck a couple of times. "Of course I do, everything I said to her was true."

Ghoul put his hand on mine on his stomach. "I thought you had a bulletproof heart."

I laughed. "I do, but you've got a hollowpoint smile." We both laughed, we laughed so hard that it stung.

***

I woke up on the floor of Korse's room. Looking up at the mannequin. This belonged to Poison. I took off my dress without really thinking about what I was doing I put on the pants and the jacket, I didn't have a shirt on under it, but I wouldn't need a shirt.

It was just my size, I hadn't even noticed the tears falling down my face. I wiped them away and was about to leave the room, I found a gun laying on the floor, I put it into the holster on the pants. I took off the wig and I left the room, getting into the elevator and pressed the button that said 'Exit' my heart was pounding. And I stepped out into the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Shits about to get crazy, only 2 chapters left! I'd love to hear what you think so far! Your comments and love mean so much to me!
> 
> I love you guys! ( ꈍᴗꈍ)


	9. There's A Place in The Dark Where The Animals Go

Strangely enough, the city was just like I thought it would be. Whatever happened to me in that room, I know it meant something. Whether it means that I'm Poison, or if it means that I somehow have his memories, I know I have to see Ghoul.

The first thing I noticed about the night air in the city was how cold it was. I really wished I had a shirt. I zipped up the jacket and started walking down the sidewalk to the left. I figure the first nice person I see I'll ask where that night club is. It must be the same club he referred to going to when he was sad. I got to the edge of the sidewalk, the crosswalk had two other people standing there waiting. I walked up and stopped, looking around.

Cars roared by so fast that I was sure they'd never stop, but eventually one of the cars rolled to a stop and a light above us turned green. The others started walking and I followed. They were in white body suits with black vests on. When we got across the street I slowed down to be further behind them.

I noticed immediately when I left the nicer part of the city, a wall with bright blue graffiti said 'Scumville' I was relieved when the two men turned left and I was alone. The street lights in this area of the city were dim, the air smelled like burning oil and rain. The first person I came by was a woman with blue hair and the saddest eyes, she wore nothing but what looked like a bathing suit, a neck piece and boots up to her thighs.

I figured she might be the person to ask, I walked up to her. "Hey, can you give me some directions?"

She looked up at me, she had a frightened look in her eyes. "Of course, where do you need?"

"I think it's some kind of night club. Called Vampire Money?"

She nodded. "Yeah, just keep heading that way." She pointed where I was walking to anyway. "You can't miss it." She put her head down. I put my hand out to her. "Hey, is something wrong?"

She shook her head. "Of course not, I just thought you were gonna ask me to go to a hotel with you. It's been a really slow couple of months."

I hadn't realized she was a Pornodroid too. I guess I might not be, but I still went through the same shit. "Hey, I'm sorry. If you give me some time, I'll bring you some money, okay?"

She had tears in her eyes. "Why would you do that?"

I reached out and grabbed her little hand, she was so cold. "I'm like you. This is my first time in the city."

She nodded, squeezing my hand. "Thank you, I don't want to be selfish, it's my girlfriend. She needs a charge pack and I just don't have the money."

I nodded, she let go of my hand. "I'll bring you some, I promise. By the end of the night I'll bring them."

She stared into my face. "Are you really a Pornodroid?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure anymore, I've been locked in an apartment working for someone, I just found out I might actually be somebody."

She got on her tip toes and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you sister, may Destroya free you."

***

The night club was exactly where she told me it would be. I really couldn't have missed it. I wasn't exactly sure how I'd get her charge packs, but I was sure Ghoul could help me figure it out. I don't care if I have to blow some people for the money.

A tall man with sunglasses and pale skin stopped me at the doors, red light came out of the bottom of the door. "Can I see your Identification Card?" He stared at me real serious.

"I don't know. I'm not sure what that is, I'm looking for a friend."

He nodded. "Well. You look like somebody who could handle this place. You've got eyes that have seen shit. Is that true?"

I nodded. "Yeah, look. Are you gonna let me in?"

He cracked a smile. "Sure, it's just funny to see new faces after this long. Especially when the face isn't new." He opened the door and let me in. I thanked him and was immediately bombarded by bass in my ears. A beat that shook my entire body.

Bright lights flashed in my eyes and it took me a moment to adjust to how dark the room was, it smelled like sweat and desperation. I couldn't tell if the smoke on the floor was from people smoking or a trick of the lights.

I felt so overwhelmed, I wanted to cry and dance at the same time, the thick crowd of people with bright colored hair hardly wearing any clothes. It was like in a room full of people I wasn't a stranger, but even if I could join in. I just wouldn't know how to keep up, they danced like any moment the world was gonna burst into particles.

"You look lost."

I turned my head and saw Fun Ghoul leaned against the wall, suddenly I remembered everything that happened to me over the last day since I saw him. It all melted away, all the fear and worry over Korse, over escaping. I was a stray now, but I wasn't alone. I actually started crying. He walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me, I pressed my face into his neck.

"Hey, why are you crying?" He asked into my hair.

"I saw you on the news, and I was so worried we wouldn't get to do our plan. I hurt Korse really bad and he went to the hospital. He gave me the box to open my door. I just left."

He ran his hand over my back, I felt him tense up. He pulled away and looked at me. "Where did you get that jacket?"

I hadn't realized how confusing this would be. "I found it in Korse's bedroom. That's what I wanted to tell you Ghoul, when I touched it I saw us in the desert. We were on the trunk of a car." I was still crying, I don't even know why. "I remember Ghoul, I don't know how all of it happened, Korse told me he just used a stun gun on Poison."

His eyes widened. "So, what does that mean? Is this his body?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, I think that might be what that means. I'm so sorry I'm not him." My head was spinning, I fell forward into him.

He put his arms around me. "You don't have to be him, Red." He pulled away from the hug enough to look at me. "I didn't want him back, we had our time. I love you, not because you look like him."

I sniffed, scanning his face to see if maybe he was just saying that. "But I killed him, because I exist he can't."

He shook his head, pressing his forehead to mine. "That's not how love works Red. I accepted the fact he was dead a long time ago. And besides, you are kinda him. He probably just botched wiping your memories. You don't remember who you were, that doesn't mean somewhere in there isn't him. Maybe that's the tug you felt towards me."

My chest hurt. "That's why you feel like home, that part of me is only at peace when I'm with you. That's so fucking sad." I sniffed.

He nodded. "It is, but we found each other. You wanna start your perfect day." He paused. "So you really aren't a droid?"

I nodded. "I was right, I bleed."

Ghoul nodded. "Shouldn't we still be prepared for the worst?"

I shook my head. "No Ghoul, I want to have hope." I walked over to the bar to the right. "Do you have a knife?"

The bartender raised an eyebrow at me. "You aren't planning on killing someone, are you?"

I shook my head. "No."

He sighed. "Whatever, you can have it." He handed me a little knife.

I thanked him and walked back over to Ghoul. "Look." I quickly cut a little spot on my arm, holding it out to show him the blood that dripped down to the back of my arm and onto the glitter covered floor.

He put his hand under my arm, examining it. "And you're sure it's real blood? Not some trick."

I shrugged. "How would I know?" I gasped. "Oh! I tasted Korse's blood earlier, he's human." I licked the cut on my arm, it tasted like metal. Korse's tasted like metal too. I held my arm out to him. "You know what blood tastes like, right?"

He nodded, taking my arm and drew it up to his mouth, running his tongue over the cut. I shivered, he smiled. "I mean, that's blood. You're definitely human."

"But you told me the details on me are right. Are there any details he couldn't fake?"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me across the room, I accidentally dropped the knife to the floor with a clatter. He took me to a door that he pushed open. "The lighting in there is too bad." We were at a staircase, he led me up. The staircase lasted forever, then he opened another door and we stepped out onto the rooftop of the building. "I'll need to see your ass. Sorry."

I shrugged. "I don't mind showing you my ass." I dropped the jacket to the concrete and pulled my pants down. The air was so cold on my dick though, that didn't feel nice. He got on his knees behind me, pressing a finger to my left ass cheek closer to my hip. "Holy fuck, this is his body."

"Really? How do you know?" I turned my head to look down at him.

"He got shot in the ass once and he had this scar that ran right across here, and you have the scar. And while he could have just cut you open, it looks old enough that he couldn't have done it within the last two years." He stood, I pulled my pants up. "I think Korse's moral situation just got more fucked up than we thought. What did you do to him?"

I walked over to him putting my arms around his neck. "I bit the palm of his hand bad enough his skin was in flaps."

He laughed, putting his hands on my waist. "Good. He deserves it."

We both laughed and I could faintly hear the music blaring from inside the building below. He leaned his head forward and kissed me. He licked my lips and kissed me on the cheek. Then I parted my lips and the kiss got deeper than we've ever kissed. I leaned my weight on him, He pressed his hand to the center of my back, the other cupped my ass.

He pulled away and laughed. "We need to find somewhere more comfortable for this."

I felt my face get hot, I didn't know he planned to do more than this. That's exciting.

"They have a bed in there, there's always a chance someone could walk in. But it's safe."

I nodded. "That sounds good to me, I'm not opposed to people watching." I picked up the jacket.

He laughed, we walked back down the stairs and he led me across the edge of the crowd until there was a door to the left. He opened the door and he was right, a big four poster bed with dark red sheets.

"Oh, they added curtains. We'll have a little privacy." He walked over to the side of the bed and got in, I got in with him and we made out on our knees. He pulled away. "I forgot to ask if you even want to do this."

I nodded. "Are you kidding, I've wanted to do this since you first showed up in my doorway." I took off the jacket and tossed it off of the bed. I pulled his jacket off his shoulders and tossed it down with mine. He closed the curtain and looked back at me.

His lips pressed to mine and he slinked a hand around my back, running it into the waistband of my pants, his hand pressing my dick. I moaned into his mouth, he pulled away and kissed me on the neck. "How do you want to do this?"

My whole body jolted, I tried to think of what I imagined when I thought about having sex with him. "I don't know. I can't fuck you, I'll finish too fast. I want to face you."

He laughed into my skin. "Don't sound so nervous." He looked me in the eyes.

"It's hard not to, You're so fucking hot."

He smiled at me. "I was gonna say the same thing."

I pulled his shirt off. "Get on your back." I'd never heard myself so demanding before.

"Anything you say." I took off the rest of my clothes as he got on his back, crossing his arms behind his head to look at me.

I unzipped his pants, pulling them all the way off of him, his legs were covered in tattoos as well. He wasn't wearing his underwear, and he was already hard. My stomach had that tickle it got when I sucked his fingers. I laid down on his legs, I didn't even know where to start.

I placed a kiss on the head of his dick, looking up at him. He gave me a cute smile. I put my lips around the head and tongued at the slit, sucking him in a little further. I snuck a glance up at him and he was biting his bottom lip and clearly holding in a moan.

I worked my way slowly deeper until he was all the way in. I reached down and cupped his balls, now sucking a lot harder. I could now hear him moaning, he was shifting his hips and I moved my other hand to his stomach, pushing down. I loved this view of him. His tattoos on his stomach and legs.

His skin was so soft, I ran my hand up and down his stomach. "Fuck, that feels so good." He said, I was surprised he didn't put his hand on the back of my head. Guys normally do that. "If we're gonna have sex you better stop, I'm gonna cum."

I pulled off of him slowly, placing one more kiss on the head. I moved up on him and he put his hand on the back of my head and kissed me. The taste of his mouth and dick in my mouth was a religious experience. I put my knees on either side of his hips, I could feel his dick against my thigh. I rubbed on it with my leg and the kiss became more sloppy.

He pulled away from the kiss, I continued to kiss down his neck. "Do you want to be on top?"

I shook my head. "No, I want you on top of me." I got off of him and he sat up. I laid down in his place and he got on top of me. "I don't know if they have any lube here."

"There's some in the drawer." I could hear a man say. "Sorry, I was coming through to get my shoes, I didn't mean to interrupt." We could hear a drawer open and then an arm came in through the curtain and he dropped a bottle of lube on the bed.

"Thanks Doctor D!" Ghoul said, picking it up.

"You're welcome. Have fun Ghoul."

I could hear the door close and I looked up at Ghoul. "You know that guy?"

Ghoul nodded. "He's one of us, he's a radio host."

I smiled. "So you guys hang out here?"

He nodded. "It's a themed bar, we can get away with dressing weird. Bl/ind workers come here too." He opened the top of lube and squirted some on his hand, lubing himself up. He smiled down at me. "You ready?"

He made my stomach flutter, it's been a long time since I was excited to have sex. I nodded, spreading my legs for him, he stood on his knees in between my legs and leaned forward, propping himself on his elbow, taking his lubed hand down between my legs, he slipped a finger easily into me. Pressing his lips to my throat, I arched my back into him, the music seemed to quiet down. Everything melted away, I looked down at him. He kissed down to my chest. He slid another finger into me and moved them slowly.

I put my hand on the side of his face, pulling him up to me. Kissing him, he slid his fingers out and lined himself up with me. He pushed into me and dropped his head down next to my neck. Turning his head to suck on the sensitive skin. I put my legs around him, drawing him deeper. For the first time in forever sex actually felt good. I grabbed his free hand and pulled it to my face, he propped himself on one hand and looked down at me as I sucked on his fingers. He smiled down at me, shaking his head.

"You're so fucking perfect." He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead, picking up the pace.

I sadly felt very close to bursting, I wanted this to last forever. I let his fingers go and he leaned down to latch onto my mouth with his. He thrusted even deeper and I moaned into his mouth. "Oh fuck!" I said when he pulled his mouth away a little.

He kissed me again, closing his eyes. He dropped his head down again, pressing his lips to my neck again. "Can I cum inside you?"

"Of course you can."

He pushed even harder into me, I cried out, wrapping my arm around him to push down on his ass. "Fuck, harder." I said, bucking my hips into him.

He immediately picked up the pace, now just spilling profanities that would have made no sense to me if I wasn't feeling this too. He made a strangled noise and slowed down. I came onto his stomach and chest. He thrust a couple more times before he finished, he pressed his forehead to my chest and thrust one more time, pulling out and laying down next to me.

"I fucking love you." He said between heavy breaths.

I turned over to lay facing him. "I love you too."

"You wanna get out of here?"

I shook my head. "I have some unfinished business, there's a Pornodroid who needs charge packs for her girlfriend. I don't care to give a couple guys head for the money."

He laughed. "What happened to the money you've been making doing this?"

I gasped. "Oh shit! I've got a lot of money. I'm rich."

He nodded. "I thought you were. We can hurry up and get back there before Korse."

I smiled. "That sounds good to me. But I wanted to cuddle."

He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "We have plenty of time to cuddle. And I've gotta piss."

I laughed. "Thank you for this. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't showed up that day."

He kissed me on the mouth. "Me neither." I watched him put on his clothes and disappear back to the dance room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Sorry this chapter took a while to write. I wanted to make sure I did a good job and I'm really happy with how it turned out.
> 
> I'd love to know what you think! I love you guys so much! Thank you for sticking with me so far, and I'm excited to share the ending with you guys! 💜


	10. You Can Run Away With Me

Ghoul came back and after I got dressed, he took me back to the dance room. Leading me through, all the way to the bar. "You ready for these?" The bartender said, dangling a set of keys from his finger.

Ghoul walked over and took them from him. "Thanks for keeping it safe."

He smiled. "No problem."

"Hey! You're the Droid from the apartment?"

My stomach dropped, I turned my head and saw the man who called himself 'Mr. President' I wanted to gag. I put my head down. "You must be mistaken, I'm not a Droid."

He walked over to the bar, leaning over it. He stared at me like he was picturing what he did to me. "No, I'm positive."

"How about you leave him alone? He clearly doesn't want to play with you. Desperation isn't very flattering."

I looked over at who said it, it was a guy with sunglasses and long hair in a wheelchair. I recognized his voice as the lube guy.

Mr President looked over at him and turned around, walking away. "Whatever, I never forget a face I fucked."

My chest felt like it was caving in, I was so embarrassed. I felt Ghoul's hand creep around my waist, pulling me to him. "I'm sorry Red."

"Red? You've never introduced me." The guy in the sunglasses said, giving me a smile and sipping from an orange pop.

Ghoul kissed me on the top of the head. "He thought he was a droid, but we don't think he is anymore. It's complicated D."

I looked up at the guy, he gasped. "Holy shit! Cat, you're back from the dead."

Ghoul shushed him. "If you come down to the car I can explain." Doctor D followed us, he opened a door I would have thought went to a freezer, but it was a ramp. We went down and it was a garage, motorcycles and brightly colored cars were down there.

Ghoul led us over to a padlocked garage door against a wall, he unlocked and opened it. The white car from the news was in there. "I guess you plan to get out of here for good, huh Ghoul?" Doctor D said, wheeling over to the car, putting his hand on the hood.

He looked over at him, smiling. "Yeah, it's about time. I never liked it here."

Doctor D turned to me. "So, what's your story? Why do you have Party Poison's face?"

I didn't know where to start. "I think Korse, you know him right?" He nodded. "Well, he told me he only stunned Poison the day he 'died' then he just used me as a prototype."

He nodded. "So you're the Pornodroid Bl/ind made?"

I nodded. "Well, I know it sounds far fetched, but I know what I feel. I have memories that aren't mine."

He frowned. "That's horrible, well I'm glad you're back where you belong. So what's your Killjoy name gonna be? Are you gonna take over the Poison name?"

I looked over at Ghoul. "My Killjoy name? I never thought about it. What should it be? I don't want to take Poison."

He smiled. "Well, you came back from the dead. Like a Phoenix."

I smiled at him. "Electric Phoenix."

Ghoul turned to me. "That's rad." We all nodded in agreement. "You ready to head back to your place?"

I nodded, walking over to the passenger side. "Yeah, if we wanna be out of here by sunrise we should probably go."

Ghoul turned to Doctor D. "You wanna come with us?"

He shook his head. "I'm done running for now, maybe I'll join you one of these days. I'm glad I met you Phoenix." He wheeled over to me, reaching his hand out to shake mine. I stepped forward and gave him a hug. "I'm glad I met you too D." I don't know why, I was feeling really sentimental.

He pulled away from the hug and went over to Ghoul. I got into the car and gave them some privacy. Ghoul got into the car with me, he sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Doctor D disappeared out of view and we drove out of the parking garage.

We drove for a while and he pulled the car in an alley and got out. "It's only a couple minutes walk from here."

I followed him and we didn't run into anybody, which is strange. I feel like it should be harder than this. We went into the building and took the elevator up. We went straight into my room and I went over to the dresser, getting into the top drawer. "Ghoul?" I asked, turning to him. I picked up my purse and stuffed money into it. "Can you get my espresso machine?"

He laughed. "You want to take it with us?"

I nodded. "Yes, I can't live without my coffee."

He went into the kitchen, I went over to my closet. Taking my jacket off and putting a black tank top on, slipping the jacket over it. I pulled out my pink dress and tucked it under my arm. Ghoul came back into the room. "Is that all?"

I gasped, walking over to my side table and got out my second favorite dildo. Sticking it into the waist band of my pants. "That should be it. Except for that." I walked over to my TV and grabbed the teacher porn off the floor, shoving it into my pants as well. "That's it."

He nodded. "You really think you'll need that dildo?"

I smiled. "Of course I will, I love it." We stepped out of the room, I looked over at Korse's door. I probably won't ever see him again. Good riddance.

We made it all the way back to the car safely, we didn't see anybody. I dumped my stuff in the back seat and I told him roughly where the Pornodroid was. We stopped by a vending machine. We bought 5 and it didn't put a dent in the money. We drove there and I saw her sitting on a TV playing nothing but static.

I got out of the car, Ghoul leaned on the car and watched, I handed her the purse stuffed with money and charge packs. "Here ya go. I don't really know how much it is, there's also five charge packs."

Her eyes widened. "Five? I can't accept that."

I smiled. "Of course you can, I don't need it. Tell your girlfriend I said hi."

She took the purse and put it over her shoulder. "Thank you so much. Good luck."

I pulled her into a hug, she squeezed me and I went back to the car. Me and Ghoul drove for a little while, he pulled into an alley. "Where else do you want to go? Is there anything else you need to do?"

I leaned towards him. "I want a kiss."

He pecked me on the lips, I put my hand on the side of his face and I pulled away. "What if I'm not really human at all? What if I shut down?"

He turned his head, looking down at the steering wheel. "We can't think about that. Like you said, we need to have hope."

I nodded, he started up the car again. "Then to the desert?"

I gave him a smile and he drove on. I opened the glove box and took my dildo from the backseat and put it in there. My eyes landed on something yellow in the back. I reached in and pulled it out. Everything went black.

I was in a sterile and blue lit room, bullets rained down like hail and I heard somebody shouting.

"Party! Watch out!"

I looked over and saw a very tall blonde man in a red jacket, I wanted very badly to hug him and protect him. I don't know why, then I felt a hand on me. I turned to see Korse was right there.

He pushed me and I hit into a wall, he pressed himself close to me. A crazed look in his eyes, he held up a pistol. He pushed it to my chin, giving me a smile. I heard the man in the red jacket yell incoherent things and I saw all my friends, a tall man with curly hair and an eye patch. Then I saw Ghoul, he was beautiful, strong, and white as snow. And with a flash everything went black.

I woke up in the passenger seat of the white car with Ghoul, my head was leaned on his shoulder. "Phoenix, you've got to quit doing that to me. I almost had a fucking heart attack and wrecked."

I lifted my head from his shoulder, my neck hurt. Then I saw the pistol in my lap. "I saw something when I held that Ghoul."

He looked over at me for a moment, his eyes landing on the pistol. "I saw that you found it, what did you see?"

I felt tears rising to my eyes. "I saw the last thing he saw. It was you." I looked over at him and he wiped away tears with his sleeve, keeping his eyes on the road. "He wasn't afraid Ghoul, death wasn't scary to him. Not like it is to me."

He nodded. "I think you should get rid of the Bl/ind pistol and keep his."

I took the white pistol out of the holster and tossed it out the window, replacing it with the yellow one. Something felt like it clicked in place, but not exactly right. I stared at the road for a while. I was surprised we weren't being chased.

When I looked back I saw a sign that said 'LEAVING BATTERY CITY. The zones are a no man's land. Turn around and have a better day'

I looked over at Ghoul, he squinted and slammed the brakes. "Fuck!"

"What?" Then I looked at what was in front of us, Korse was standing in the middle of the road.

My mouth went totally dry. "Do you want me to run him over?" Ghoul asked. I shook my head, opening my car door. "Hey, what are you doing?" He asked, reaching out to me.

"I need to talk to him." I closed the door and walked in front of the car. We were standing way closer to each other than I was comfortable with, I don't even know what I wanted to say.

His hand was covered in gauze, blood had already seaped through. "Hey baby." He smiled at me. "You made the right choice, we can go home now." He walked closer to me, I pulled the blaster out of the holster and pressed it to his neck, grabbing the collar of his shirt, I slammed him against the hood of the white car. I didn't know I had that much strength.

"For the last time Korse, I am not your baby. I am Electric Phoenix, I know this is Party Poison's body and I'm leaving with Fun Ghoul. The Killjoys are back." I smiled down at him.

He looked so sad, so broken. I pressed the pistol to his chin, just like he did to Poison two years ago. "I have his memories, I heard my brother."

He sniffed. "But, I got rid of his memories, you aren't him. You…"

I shook my head. "No, I'm not him. I'm worse than him, I'm worse because I won't die. I won't be erased, and beaten and fucked and broken. That's you Korse, you're all of those things, but you know what?"

He sniffed. "What?"

"You did it all to yourself. You could have made a fucking great Killjoy. But you're weak, and manufactured. There's a million other fucked up people in this city just like you. And they feel safe under their government, the government that oppresses and puts a gun in your hand over issues that could be talked about. I heard it on the news every day, like pigs to slaughter. That's what a S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W is, not that romantasized bullshit you gave me. Because I've seen it Korse, you can't fucking live with what you've done."

He was crying, he would have fell off the hood if I wasn't holding him down. "Just kill me. Please just kill me."

I shook my head. "No Korse, I couldn't kill you. What would be the point?"

He looked up at me. "Don't you have any mercy? Do you know what they'll do to me if they find out I let you escape?"

I shrugged. "You should have thought about that." I was silent for a couple of seconds. "You know what, I think I'll give you a choice Korse." I looked up at Ghoul, then back at him. "The choice is yours, you can go back to them, try and plead with them about how I escaped on my own. How I remembered who I was and there was nothing you could do. And hope they don't fry you or lock you up. Or you can go out into the desert, you can join the rebellion one day if I can forgive you and then you can make a difference. That's your choice Korse." I let him go, putting the pistol back in my holster.

I turned from him, he fell to the dust. I felt him grab my ankle. "Please, I can't do this."

I gave him a smile. "Yes you can. Get up and get the fuck out of the road. I talked him out of making you roadkill, don't make me change my mind."

He let me go and crawled out of the road, I got into the car and sat back down. Closing the door.

"You sure that's the right thing to do?" He asked, looking over at me, putting the car into neutral.

I nodded. "Yeah, I do."

He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "I trust you."

I reached for his hand, squeezing as he slammed the gas. We roared off past the sign and into the desert. I looked back at the dust trail, laughing. I looked over at Ghoul. "Thank you."

He smiled. "This is the most fun I've had in years. You can run away with me any time you want." He gave me that smile that heals invisible wounds and shatters through bulletproof hearts.

And I was free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! That's it! I hope you guys liked this story. I put a lot of myself into it and it's honestly helped me a lot, and all of your nice comments and support made this story!
> 
> And fun fact, my one shot 'In The Desert Outside of Battery City' is a prequel to this. It's what inspired me to write this story. A tiny snippet from it actually appears in one of these chapters!
> 
> I love you guys so much! 💜 Thank you for everything!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hey! This is going to be my first Frerard story! (I've written one shots) What did you think? I'd love to know! I will try and upload as often as possible! Any support is so helpful! <3 thank you for reading!


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